Givers & Takers

GIVERS & TAKERS

Can you tell the difference between "Givers" and "Takers"? Yes, you can!


The Giver is the part of you that follows the rule: do whatever you can to make the other person happy and avoid anything that makes the other person unhappy, even if it makes you unhappy. It's the part of you that wants to make a difference in the lives of others, and it grows out of a basic instinct that we all share, a deep reservoir of love and concern for those around us.

The Taker is the part of you that follows the rule: do whatever you can to make yourself happy and avoid anything that makes yourself unhappy, even if it makes others unhappy. It's the part of you that wants the most out of life, and it grows out of your basic instinct for self-preservation.

The greater the degree to which one's final objective is to take or give, one can expect greater use of taking or giving behaviors. Taking behaviors will also be characterized by a greater use of power plays or other controlling behaviors including intimidation, interrogation, poor-me, and/or aloof-ness.

Not everyone gives or takes for the same reason. Instead, there are four basic combinations of "giver" and "taker" variables.

(1) Givers Who Give;
(2) Givers Who Take;
(3) Takers Who Give; and
(4) Takers Who Take.

Want to help ? Here's how ! Groceries With Heart

Want To Help ? Here's how ! Groceries With Heart

Regular Giving

We are giving out groceries to the community on a regular basis. This 2-year program is called Groceries With Heart.

Where ?

We are giving groceries at 2 locations :

1. At the void deck of Blk 105 Jalan Bt Merah.

2. Shelter at Blk 5A Telok Blangah Crescent.

When and What time ?

From 24 Oct 09 onwards, on alternate Saturday, at 1:30 pm, we will be giving out groceries to the recipients mostly staying at 1-room flat.
This will continue for at least 2 years.

Who are the beneficiaries ?

The recipients are mostly under the Public Assistance scheme or ComCare scheme.

Queries ?

You can drop me a mail at ychaoloy@singnet.com.sg

or you can contact me at +65 9768 7549 if you have any queries.

We need volunteers and helpers to give groceries to the recipients and deliver groceries to those who are non ambulant.

Yours in Apex

Yeo Chao Loy

President 2009/2010

Apex Club of Singapore (City)

No One To Phone

NO ONE TO PHONE

One afternoon after the death of her grandfather, Carol lay huddled on
her bed, sobbing forlornly. Her mother sat beside her and asked,
"What's the matter, honey?"

"I miss my grandpa, and I miss talking to him about my problems," the
girl said.

"I know, dear," sympathized her mother. "I miss him too. But can't you
talk to me?" Carol shook her head vehemently.

"Why not?" her mother persisted.

"Because you're what we talked about," sobbed Carol.

Children may not always confide in their parents. And adults may
choose not to confide in many of their friends and family. But it is
important to have someone with whom we can be emotionally intimate.

Tragically, it has been estimated that the majority of men, and many
women, have nobody they could phone at 2:00 in the morning if their
lives fall apart. They believe there is nobody who really wants to
hear from them in a crisis. Too many of us are utterly without close
and intimate friends.

The philosopher Goethe once observed, "The world is so empty if one
thinks only of mountains, rivers and cities; but to know someone here
and there who thinks and feels with us, and who, though distant, is
close to us in spirit, this makes the earth an inhabited garden."

Who can you be vulnerable with? Is the earth, for you, more like a
lonely desert or an inhabited garden? The difference may simply be in
whom you feel free to call at your most wounded moments. Do you have
such a person? And are you such a person for someone else?

As it has been said, "A friend is someone who knows the song in your
heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words."
If we are to find the kind of friend who knows the song in our hearts,
we must also BE that kind of friend. And since good friends take time
to grow, today is a good day to work on those friendships.

Attitude

It is your attitude more than your aptitude that determines your altitude." -- Brian Tracy

Live Life Without Regrets

"LIVE LIFE WITHOUT REGRETS"

"Life may not be the party we hoped for... but while we are here we might as well dance!"

Do you have any regrets, and if so why? Do you have more than one? If so this means you might be doing something not in joyful with your life.

Too many people put off something that brings them joy, or fail to see the opportunity to experience joy. They use reasoning like they haven't thought about it, don't have it on their schedule, didn't know it was coming or are too rigid to depart from their routine.

Because we cram so much into our lives, we tend to schedule our headaches. We live on a sparse diet of promises we make to ourselves when all the conditions are perfect!
Life has a way of accelerating as we get older. The days get shorter, and the list of promises we make to ourselves gets longer. One morning, we awaken, and all we have to show for our lives is a litany of "I'm going to," "I plan on," and "Someday, when things are settled down a bit." When you worry and hurry through your day, you are wasting your life, it is like an unopened gift....Thrown away....
Life is not a race from birth to the grave, so why hurry to get there? See the sky, feel the wind blow, hear the music before the song is over.

Why are you waiting? Now, right now, go on and have a nice day. Do something you WANT to do, not something on your SHOULD DO list.

Happiness is Here And Now

Happiness is Here and Now

The great Western disease is, ‘I'll be happy when… When I get the money. When I get a BMW. When I get this job.’ Well, the reality is, you never get to when. The only way to find happiness is to understand that happiness is not out there. It's in here. And happiness is not next week. It's now.

-- Marshall Goldsmith

The People Around You

THE PEOPLE AROUND YOU

The following event took place during a transantlantic flight on October 14, 1998.

A lady was seated next to a black gentleman.

The woman, visibly upset, asked the flight attendant to find another seat for her as she didn’t want to sit next to someone so unpleasant.

The flight attendant told her that the flight was quite full, but that she would check and see if there was room in first class.

The rest of the passengers watched the scene with shock and disgust, not only because this woman was so obnoxious and rude, but for the fact that she would actually be moved to first class.

The poor man felt terribly uncomfortable about this whole scene but was cordial enough not to react.

As tension in the cabin mounted, the lady seemed pleased with the fact that she may be moved to first class away from this person.

A few minutes later the flight attendant returned and informed the woman:
“Excuse me ma’am, the flight is indeed pretty full……Fortunately I found a seat available in first class.

“It took me a while because in order to make that change I had to get permission from the captain.

He told me that we shouldn’t force anyone to have to sit next to someone so unpleasant, and authorized the change right away.”

The other passengers couldn’t believe what they were hearing… and the woman, with a triumphant expression on her face, proceeded to get up from her seat.

Then the flight attendant turned towards the black man and said:

”Sir… would you be so kind as to follow me to your new seat in first class? On behalf of our airline, the captain offers you his apology for the fact that you had to put up with someone so unpleasant sitting next to you.”

All the passengers applauded and gave a standing ovation to the crew for handling the situation so well.

That year, the captain and the flight attendant were awarded for their actions on that flight. Due to this, the company realized they had not placed sufficient priority on costumer service training for their employees.

The Airline made immediate changes!

Since this event, in all of their offices and in clear sight of their personnel, the following message is posted:

“People may forget what you said to them. People may even forget what you did to them. But they will never forget the way you made them feel.”

“So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you.” Matthew 7:12