Happiness

I have been searching for happiness all this while, are you ? I have not found it yet but I can say I am closer to finding it each day.

Happiness is a state of mind, conditioned but not determined by the material, but we trick ourselves into thinking otherwise.

In fact there are 2 types of happiness. Namely true happiness and worldly happiness.

True Happiness

True happiness is truely lasting. Mountains of wealth cannot buy True Happiness. Fantastic sex is just a brief high. Fame is always at the mercy of blame. Sumptous meals can only be taken so much. True Happiness is unconditioned, it requires nothing in particular to sustain it - though we need to cultivate our spirituality by perfecting our compassion and wisdom to attain it once and for all.

Worldly Happiness

Worldly happiness is fleeting. When we pursue worldly happiness, they will at best come ... only to pass in due time. Worldly happiness is conditioned, it fades away when its conditions fall away.

I read a book by Dr Thynn Thynn called Living Meditation, Living Insight. There is something I find interesting that I like to share. In a chapter called Happiness, the author wrote :

One day a friend found me reading Buddhism and asked, "Are you trying to find happiness?"
TT: Yes.
R: Have you found it ?
TT: Yes, I have.
R: How ?
TT: By realizing that I cannot find it.
R: But how can that be ?
TT: ......
You have to read it then you will understand.

All the suffering in the world arises out of wanting happiness for self.
All happiness in the world arises out of wanting happiness for others.

Happiness is not just a goal; it should be part of the process too.

Happiness is an attitude of mind, born of the simple determination to be happy under all outward circumstances - J. Donald Wlters

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My friend Chin Sin sent me this :

Realisation: A Reason Why We Are Unhappy

All the suffering in the world arises out of wanting happiness for self.
All happiness in the world arises out of wanting happiness for others.
- Shantideva

A reason why we are unhappy is that we are not true to ourselves. Paradoxically, we are also untrue to ourselves when we are untrue to others, as true sincerity to yourself naturally overflows to those around you. How (un)happily we relate to others is related to our happiness, since much of our lives involves relating to others. When we speak of being true to ourselves, it is usually mistaken that we should simply do whatever we fancy for ourselves. Obviously, this doesn't really bring happiness. If it does, we would be perfectly happy already. This means we are doing the wrong things to be happy. Being true means being aligned with the truth, qualities of which include the realisation of generosity, loving-kindness and wisdom. Often, happiness is seeked through their opposites - attachment (to personal happiness), aversion (to those who "threaten" our happiness) and delusion (about what is happiness). Attachment and aversion arise from this delusion, which keeps True Happiness out of reach.

A common symptom of unhappiness is the complaint that we want happiness, but others make us unhappy. The truth is, no one other than ourselves can make us unhappy. We are unhappy about others only when we choose to relate to them in an unhappy manner. Flip this around and it is equally true - those who "make" you unhappy should realise that the cause of unhappiness is not you, but in how they choose to relate to you. If our happiness is always determined by how others treat us, how can we be truly happy? What if someone deluded thinks that making you unhappy brings happiness for oneself? Be generous, loving and wise to that person. Respond with sincerity. Seek to understand and bring happiness to that person. Focus on dissolving the person's unhappiness instead of being unhappy with how that person is affecting you. This also dissolves your unhappiness about that person. It's a win-win situation. Retaliating with aversion would only perpetuate unhappiness on both sides.

What if those unhappy with us do not appreciate our sincerity? This is still no cause for you to be unhappy. True sincerity expects no reciprocation. It simply does what is right - that aligned to happiness. There is happiness in knowing we are blameless, when we do our best to bring others happiness. The only ones who hold our happiness ransom is us. For instance, if someone is unhappy with me for saying the Earth is round, why should I be unhappy about that? The truth is that the Earth is not flat. Others' unhappiness with the truth has no power to make us unhappy if we are at peace with the truth. Likewise, others' unhappiness with the trueness of our sincerity has no power to make us unhappy. The options are obvious - If we do not choose to relate to those unhappy with us happily, we choose choose to relate to them unhappily. Our happiness first comes from how kindly and wisely we relate to the universe; not how it treats us. Yet the kinder and wiser we are, the kinder and wiser the universe is to us - for we are our most immediate "parts" of the universe!
- Shen Shi'an

To be unhappy, have expectations that others make you happy.
To be happy, make others happy without expectations.
- Stonepeace
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During my first trip to India in Feb 07, we stayed at Rain Tree Hotel. Every room in this hotel has 2 books; one is the Teaching of Buddha and the other is Bhagavad-Gita As It Is.

I already have the first book and bought the second book from the hotel at 225 rupees. This book also got talks about happiness. I find this paragraph interesting and worth to share :

"It is not possible to be happy independently, just as no one part of the body can be happy without cooperating with the stomach."

In my own words, what I gather is that for a person to be happy, every parts of his body has to be happy. For example, if he is hungry, can he be happy ? Or he has a headache, can he be happy ? It is quite difficult. Not just every parts of his body must be happy, the people he lives with also must be happy. If one of the family member is not happy, can he be happy ? Not easy. If all his family members are happy but his neighbour is not happy, can this family be happy ? It goes on and on until this earth that we are living, if one part of the earth got people who are not happy, can we all be happy. So it seems that by realizing that one cannot find happiness, then we found happiness.
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Happiness does not come from having much but from being attached to little.