Do you want to be happy? Of course you do.
As someone who wrote a book about happiness, I spend a lot of time thinking about the subject.
I’ve observed that being a happy person isn’t rocket science. Instead, it’s about making consistent, intentional, simple choices -- something that all of us can do.
I’ve come up with an A to Z list of things you can do to find happiness and fulfillment.
Here they are:
A: Apologise when you’re wrong
Humble people are happier people. We’re all human, so let’s say sorry when we've messed up.
It’s better to save the relationship than to save “face” by refusing to apologise.
B: Build strong relationships
To a large extent, the quality of our relationships determines the quality of our lives. Let’s invest in the relationships we value.
C: Complain less
We love to complain. But the more we complain -- especially without also offering a possible solution to the problem -- the unhappier we become.
If we complain, let’s do it constructively. As the saying goes: When we’re whining, nobody’s winning.
D: Dare to be different
Trying to live up to the expectations of other people or of society puts you in the fast lane to unhappiness. Dare to think different, act different and be different.
E: Encourage someone daily
We all go through seasons in life where we feel discouraged or confused. Make an effort to encourage at least one person each day.
F: Focus on what you can change, not on what you can’t
Here’s an empowering question for us to ask ourselves throughout each day: What is one thing I can do right now to make the situation better?
The answer to that question will guide you toward an action you can take immediately.
G: Give others the benefit of the doubt
We almost always give ourselves the benefit of the doubt, but we don’t often extend this grace to others. If we did, we’d save ourselves a lot of frustration, annoyance and anger.
H: Help others with no strings attached
Giving of our time and resources is sure to make us happier in the long run.
I: Identify the toxic people in your life and stay away from them
I’ve heard it said that you’re the average of the five people you spend most of your time with. I think that, by and large, this is true.
Identify the toxic people in your life, and minimise contact with them -- before you become just like them.
J: Join a community
Human beings are designed to exist in community. Find one -- be it social, spiritual or activity-based -- and be an active member.
K: Keep to an exercise and sleep schedule
If we’re not leading a physically healthy life, it’s hard to grow in other areas.
L: Laugh at yourself
Take your work and your responsibilities seriously, but not yourself.
M: Make an effort to be interested in others
I haven’t met a single person who didn’t have an interesting life story. If we’re genuinely interested in other people, we’ll form a stronger connection with them.
N: Never stop learning
The older I get, the more things I realise I don’t know. Education should be lifelong, even if schooling isn’t.
O: Obsess over the right things
Our obsessions define our legacy.
Will we be obsessed about loving people and adding value to their lives? Or will we be obsessed about watching TV and reading the latest celebrity gossip?
The choice is ours.
P: Praise others when praise is due
When you see someone do a good job, give her a sincere compliment. You might just make her day!
Q: Question your assumptions about life
What assumptions do you have about life? That you need a university degree to succeed? That reading books is boring? That you don’t have what it takes to make your dreams come true?
Challenge these assumptions in order to prepare yourself for future success.
R: Reflect daily
Take five minutes each day to reflect.
In particular, think about the way you’re using your time and money, because every second and dollar you spend is a message to the world about what you truly value.
S: Stop caring so much about what other people think
You can’t please everyone all of the time, so don’t even bother trying. Live a life of character, commitment and courage -- and ignore the naysayers.
T: Take a break
Work is important, but we also need to make time to relax, especially in this stressful society we live in.
U: Utilise your resources wisely
As people who live in a developed country, we have many resources at our disposal, both online and offline. With the power of the Internet at our fingertips, “I don’t know” is now almost never an excuse.
V: Vary your routine
We’re creatures of habit, but changing up our routine can break the monotony and make life more interesting and exciting.
W: Write down your goals and review them periodically
Most of us are goal-oriented, but few of us put down our goals in writing.
Writing down your goals -- and reviewing them regularly -- helps you to take stock of your life and to ensure that you’re making progress in the right areas.
X: Express gratitude daily
(I know, I know… “Express” doesn’t start with the letter “x”.)
There’s plenty of research out there indicating that grateful people are happier. Every day, write down at least one thing you’re thankful for. I’ve tried it out for myself and it’s definitely helped me to appreciate life more fully!
Y: Yearn for long-term (and not merely short-term) success
First of all, it’s crucial that we define success for ourselves. If we simply accept society’s definition of success, we might rack up countless achievements, but fail to find the fulfillment we were looking for.
It’s only when we've defined -- at a personal level -- what success means to us that we can focus on building enduring, rather than fleeting, success.
Z: Zip your mouth when you don’t have anything helpful to say
Lady Dorothy Nevill, who lived in London in the 1800s, wisely observed, “The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing in the right place, but to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.”
If all of us obeyed this rule, there would be far fewer hurt feelings and broken relationships in this world.
In closing…
We can’t give away what we don’t already have, so if we want to make the lives of others better and happier, we need to first take care of our own well-being and happiness.
I hope these 26 tips will help you to do just that!
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