One Simple Secret to Managing Work Stress

One Simple Secret to Managing Work Stress
Rusty Rueff, On Saturday 18 December 2010, 0:17 SGT


More books have been written about stress management than any of us could ever read. Consultants, psychologists and psychiatrists have made their living on helping others deal with stress. While a myriad of tactics and tricks can help us manage stress at our jobs, one simple action is often overlooked:

Arriving early.

There's no stress in being early. This small yet important tip can significantly reduce your own stress, and it also shows those around you how to act when work heats up.

Think about these scenarios and see if you can apply them when it comes to managing the stress in your job:

-- If your schedule requires you to be in the office at 8:00 a.m., show up at 7:40 a.m. Those extra 20 minutes will give you time to settle in and get organized before the pressure really heats up.

[See 10 Ways to Make Any Job Healthier.]

-- If the meeting starts at 10:00 a.m., arrive at 9:50 a.m. Use those extra ten minutes in the meeting room to collect your thoughts, get in the right frame of mind, or take a moment to check your Blackberry.

-- If your one-on-one with your boss is scheduled at a regular time each week, show up five minutes early so you're already there and ready to go when her door opens. Consider using your extra five minutes to talk to the boss's assistant, creating a relationship that pays dividends.

-- If your presentation is due on Thursday morning, organize your workload so you can deliver it the evening before, eliminating loss of sleep and anxiety on Wednesday night.

-- If you're responsible for providing end-of-year performance reviews, don't wait until the week right before the review to get started. The last week will always be the most stressful, and your feedback won't be nearly as constructive if you rush to provide it. Set a plan ahead of time for how you'll tackle the written reviews. For example, if you need to review 10 employees and you have four weeks before in-person reviews, aim to complete two to three written reviews each week. A bit of planning and organization can go a long way when it comes to reducing your stress levels.

[See The Value of a True Lunch Break.]

-- If you're faced with a meeting across town that starts at 4:00 p.m., think ahead about your commute time. Without traffic, you could make it in half an hour, but who knows how long it will take when a lot of vehicles are on the road. Give yourself plenty of time to reach your destination, even if you risk arriving earlier than necessary. It's worth the time you'd otherwise spend fretting about arriving late. While most of us despise sitting in traffic, in this case, it can be turned into time to think, relax, or catch up on a few phone calls.

[For more career advice, visit U.S. News Careers, or find us on Facebook or Twitter.]

Combined with other stress management tricks that work for you, looking for opportunities to be early is an effective way to keep your cool. And don't forget that the people around you--your colleagues, staff, and maybe even your boss--look to you as an example of how to handle moments of pressure. By incorporating the "there's no stress in being early" approach, you'll help your workdays move more smoothly, both for you and for everyone else.

Rusty Rueff, director and career expert for jobs and career website Glassdoor.com has been a CEO, led HR in global companies and is co-author of Talent Force: A New Manifesto for the Human Side of Business.

My First Trip to Japan 17 - 29 Nov 2010

MY FIRST TRIP TO JAPAN 17 - 29 NOV 2010

Japan is a country that I am dreaming to go for a long time. Maybe the time is not right yet for me to go. Could be also due to the cost that my dream did not come true. But in Jun 10 when my friends from the Bucky Group told me that they are making a trip to Japan in Nov 10, my first question I asked them was "Is it going to be expensive ?". The answer I got was "No, because we are going on back-pack and we will be staying at guesthouses.". My next question then was "Can we still join ?". The answer I got was "Yes, but need to decide fast as we are going to do the booking for air-tickets and guesthouses soon. There are 7 people confirmed going." I must thank our leader, June San, for being so helpful and kind to plan the trip for us, do the necessary bookings, lead us while we were there and also help us to save a lot of money for this trip. All in for the 12 days in Japan including air-ticket, I spent about S$2,500. And that include shopping for things I like and things to give my neighbours, colleagues and friends. June was so kind to take us round the places even she had been there before, I am really touched.

I have heard a lot from friends about their trip to Japan. All said it was very good. For me, I must said it was lucky for me to choose Japan as the last country to travel in Asia. Because I have been to Taiwan, China, South Korea, HK, Macau, Thailand, Loas, Myanmar, Vietman and Cambodia, Japan to me is the best. Why I say it is the best, below are my sharing :

People

People in Japan are so friendly and courteous. If you ask for direction, they will be happy to help you and some even come forward to help without you asking. I remember I was at a medicine shop one evening. All the staff there are so happy working at the store. They are full of energy until the store closed. When you make your payment, they will greet you and show their appreciation. Every restaurants we went, the customer service is excellent.

I also do not have the feeling that the Japanese are trying to make money from us because no one will come to you to sell thing. If you like to buy any thing, just ask, they will be happy to serve you. Unlike so country, everywhere you go, there will be people trying to sell something to you. 

Scenary

My trip was mainly to see the autumn of Kyoto, Osaka and Nara. The autumn there is so colourful. Every spot you go, you can spend time taking photo just at one spot. Every step you make, the view is different and you can continue to take more photos.

Cleanliness of Environment

Everywhere we go, it is so clean, so neat and so tidy. As for the streams we saw, all the water are so clean and crystal clear. It is part of their culture.

Social Security

Everywhere we went, we felt so safe. I can see people there generally have their own job, the crime there is very low. Even in a city or at the market, I can see people just park their bicyle and go and do their own things. No one will steal their bicycle.

Food

Being an asian, we are use to eat Chinese food. I must say I fall in love with the Japanese food when I was in Japan, it just taste very good. I also find that Japanese food is actually healthy food. They hardly use oil to do the cooking other than deep fried stuff like prawn. 

Finally, I enjoyed very much while I was in Japan. It was a totally new experience for me. The culture there is so different for us. I find that we have a lot to learn from them.

The Man of Perfect Virtue

The man of perfect virtue, wishing to be established himself, seeks also to establish others; wishing to be enlarged himself, he seeks also to enlarge others.

   --  Confucius (Analects 6.28.2)

Who to Appreciate, When and How

Appreciation : What to appreciate, When and How: an Important Lesson!

One young academically excellent person went for an interview for a managerial position in a big company. He passed the first interview; BUT in that Company, the director did the last interview, made the last decision.

The director discovered from the CV, that the youth's academic result was excellent all the way, from the secondary school until the postgraduate research, never was there a year he did not score. The director asked, "Did you obtain any scholarship in school?" and the youth answered "no".

The director asked, " Did your father pay your school fees?". The youth answered, "my father passed away when I was one year old and it was my mother who paid my school fees".

The director asked, " Where did your mother work?" the youth answered, "my mother worked as cloth cleaner." The director requested the youth to show his hands and the youth showed a pair of hands that was smooth and perfect to the director.

The director asked, " Did you ever help your mother wash clothes before?" The youth answered, "never, my mother always wanted me to study and read more books, furthermore, my mother could wash clothes faster than I could"

The director said, I have a request, when you go back today, go and help to clean your mother's hand, and then see me tomorrow morning.

The youth felt that the chance of landing the job was high and when he went back, he happily wanted to clean his mother's hands. His mother felt strange. With happiness mixed with fear, she showed her hands to the kid.

The youth cleaned his mother's ha! nds slowl! y and his tears fell as he did that. It was the first time he noticed that his mother's hands were so wrinkled, and that there were so many bruises in her hands. Some bruises were so painful that she shuddered when his mother's hands were cleaned with water.

This is the first time that the youth realized and experienced that it is this pair of hands that washed the clothes every day to earn him the school fees and that the bruises in the mother's hand were the price that the mother paid for his graduation and academic excellence and probably his future.

After finishing the cleaning of his mother's hands, the youth quietly washed all the remaining clothes for his mother.

That night, the mother and son talked for a very long time.

Next morning, the youth went to the director's office. The director noticed the tear in the youth's eye and asked: "Can you tell what you did and learnt yesterday in your house?"

The youth answered, "I cleaned my mother's hands and also finished washing all the remaining clothes".

The director asked, "Please tell me what you felt"

The youth said:

"Number 1 , I know what appreciation is now'. Without my mother, I would not be successful today.

Number 2, Now I know how to work together with my mother. Only now do I realize how difficult and tough it is to get something done.

Number 3, I know the importance and value of family relationship."

Later on, this young person worked very hard, and received the respect of his subordinates, every employee worked diligently and as a team and the company improved tremendously.

The Lessons from this an ecdote:

A child who has been protected and habitually given whatever he needs, develops "entitlement mentality"and always puts himself first. He is ignorant of his parents' efforts. When he starts work, he assumes every person must listen to him, and when he becomes a manager, he would never know the suffering of his employees and always blame others. These kinds of people, may/will achieve good results and may be successful for a while, but eventually would not feel a sense of achievement or satisfaction.

If we happen to be this kind of (protective) parent, this is the time to ask the question

- whether we did/do love our kids or destroy them.

-You can let your kid live in a big house, eat a good meal, learn to play the piano, watch a big screen TV but when you are cutting grass, please let them experience it.

-After a meal, let them wash their plate and bowl together with their brothers and sisters.

-It is not because you do not have money to hire a maid, but it is because you want to love and show them the correct way.

-You want them to understand that no matter how rich their parent are, one day they will grow old, become weak and that their hair too will grow grey!

-The most important thing is for your kid to learn how to appreciate, experience and learn the effort and ability needed to work with others to get things done. They should also value, appreciate what the parents have done and love them for who they are!

"Every sunrise delivers opportunities, While every sunset asks what we did with opportunities."

More Power Than We Can Imagine

We touch the lives of others in ways we often never know. People sometimes come into our personal world for fleeting moments and can leave us forever changed. We have more power to create or to destroy than we can imagine. We can leave things or individuals better or worse than we found them.




-- Gail Pursell Elliott

HOW TO BE HAPPY

How to BE Happy

Being authentically happy is not quite as straight forward as it may appear. There are three essential steps.

Step One is to ‘see’ and dispel the many myths and illusions about happiness. (The Mythology of Happiness)

Step Two is to explore the deeper meaning of happiness in order to induce and affirm three realizations.

Realisation One - That happiness is not something that comes from outside our self. Authentic happiness is not a dependency on anyone, anything or any place. Happiness is an inside job!

Realisation Two - That happiness is not excitement. Most of us learn to believe that our happiness is stimulated and so we search for the stimulation of our own favourite brand of happiness. If we have been doing this for a long time it’s not easy to break free of this habit as there is likely to be some form of addiction to something, someone or somewhere.

Realisation Three - That happiness is not an occasional high in contrast to an occasional low. Authentic happiness is not an up and down affair. It is a stable and consistent state which is only possible when the three forms of authentic happiness – contentment, joy and bliss - are fully understood.

And that of course is Step Three.

Authentic Happiness is Undisturbable CONTENTMENT

Contentment is only possible when we re-awaken the awareness that everything near and far in the world around us is exactly the way it is meant to be in this moment now, and that there is only this moment now.

Not so easy when we realize we have spent our entire life avoiding being fully present in this moment now. Avoiding the present is the ego’s way of killing our contentment by attempting to escape into the future or wallowing in the past.

Contentment is only possible when you are able to accept everyone as they are, at every moment, in every situation. That means an end to judging or resisting others, an end to complaining and blaming, an end to trying to change others and world events. Not so easy after a lifetime of armchair judgment, resistance and the rejecting of others.

That doesn’t mean just sitting back and doing nothing. It means the re-awakening and the acceptance of self-responsibility and seeing how self-responsibility is inextricably linked to world responsibility. In other words, it is only when we cease to project what we think and feel onto others and create actions aligned with what is true within our self that we can make the most effective contribution to the world.

And when others are seen to be NOT acting in alignment with what is true in them, our response is not one of judgment and condemnation (which kills our contentment), but one of compassion and understanding (which maintains our contentment).

Authentic Happiness as Unbridled JOY

Joy is only possible when our life energy (the self) flows out into the world, free of the desire for any part of the world to flow towards us. As creative beings our deepest joy is when we are being creative and when our creativity is aligned with the truth of ‘who’ we are (identity) and ‘what’ we are (nature). This is not so much to do with the limited creativity of painting and poetry etc., but the creation of our life. The purpose of life is not to ‘get a life’ but to create our life.

That means realizing that we are primarily designed to give of our self wholeheartedly at every moment. Not so easy when we realize how halfheartedly we may have ‘learned’ to live our life. Half-heartedness happens when we want something for our self. Half of your heart (which is you) is focused on bringing something, or someone to you, so only half is going out as giving. And half of that often carries a ‘condition’ with it. This creates an inner tension that becomes the ‘killjoy’ of most lives.

In truth, life (the self) is not designed to want anything. Life needs nothing, you need nothing. Your body needs food, shelter and clothing, but ‘you’ need nothing. If there is a need, it is to see and realize the ‘opportunity of living’ which is to give of our self, to give well, to give accurately and generously. That means ‘creating’ the most appropriate response to meet the needs of people and the world around you. When we do then there is the presence of authentic joy. A joyfulness that comes from inside out.

Some may say that to give give give is to be blind to those who would take advantage of our generosity and that it will make you more like a joyous fool than joy full. But they are likely to be still living from a belief system that says life ‘owes’ them.

One of the signs of the presence of joy is when the awareness of time passing recedes into the background. You stop looking at the clock. True joy can only be known beyond the consciousness of time, like the innocent universe of a child at play, before it learns that it has to be home in time for dinner… or else! Then it runs home not out of joy but out of fear.

Question: What or who do you ‘use’ to disturb your contentment and why?

Reflection: Assuming you didn’t use these situations/people to disturb your self what would you think, feel and do differently?

Action: Practice both the questions above at the end of every day this week.

C Mike George 2010

Edited extract from The 7 Myths of LOVE…Actually!

5 Ways to Wellbeing

5 WAYS TO WELLBEING

1. Connect. Connect with the people around you. With family, friends, colleagues, and neighbours. At home, work, school or in your local community. Think of these as the cornerstones of your life and invest time in developing them. Building these connections will support and enrich you every day.

2. Be active. Go for a walk or run. Step outside. Cycle. Play a game. Garden. Dance. Exercising makes you feel good. Most importantly, discover a physical activity you enjoy and one that suits your level of mobility and fitness.

3. Take Notice. Be curious. Catch sight of the beautiful. Remark on the unusual. Notice the changing seasons. Savour the moment, whether you are walking to work, eating lunch or talking to friends. Be aware of the world around you and what you are feeling. Reflecting on your experience will help you appreciate what matters to you.

4. Keep Learning. Try something new. Rediscover an old interest. Sign up for that course. Take on a different responsibility at work. Fix a bike. Learn to play an instrument or how to cook your favourite food. Set a challenge you will enjoy achieving. Learning new things will make you more confident as well as being fun.

5. Give. Do something nice for a friend, or a stranger. Thank someone. Smile. Volunteer your time. Join a community group. Look out, as well as in. Seeing yourself, and your happiness, linked to the wider community can be incredibly rewarding and creates connections with the people around you.