Chao Loy's Blog Page - Sharing & Learning Corner

New Year (Year of Dragon)

2012-01-24T19:08:00.000-08:00

"This New Year, I am alive." What this means, you should understand that it means : "This year I should be a better human being than I was in past years. This year, I should be a better human being."

by above is by Lama Zopa Rinpoche

I picked up a copy of the newsletter of Amitabha Buddhist Centre on 23 Jan 12 at Ngee Ann City Civic Plaza. While reading it, I came across the above statement. I think it is very true and we can follow. Looking back in Year of Rabbit. I have been involved in a number of volunteer activities. I was busy during CNY, Mid-autumn Festival and Christmas especially. Not forgetting the giving of groceries to the poor on Sat. Before Sep 11, I only help on alternate Sat, after Sep 11, I have helping on every Sat. One Sat at Toa Payoh and one Sat at Bt Merah. Being human, I do felt tired at times, but after I think back, able to help others is better than being help by others. No complaint.

Hope I can more this year, the sky is not the limit.

Another Rare Opportunity to Help

2012-01-02T00:04:00.000-08:00

On 31 Dec 2011, after my breakfast at Lam Soon Building along Hillview Avenue, as I was walking home, I saw a big private bus and a taxi both stopped along the road outside Lam Soon Building. When I walked past the taxi, I saw a Chinese man waving at me for help.

The taxi and the big private bus just had a slide collision outside Lam Soon Building. The driver of the private bus is from China and the taxi driver is a Malay man. So one cannot speak English and the other cannot speak Mandarin.

Both drivers asked me for help. After some checking, the taxi driver admitted it is his fault and he is willing to compensate the bus driver. Both have agreed to settle the repair privately. The taxi driver initially agreed to pay the bus driver S$50 but the bus driver demanded S$80 instead. In the end, the taxi driver only got S$70 with him so the bus driver agreed to settle for S$70.

I also helped them to write a note for both to sign to protect both parties. All of us shacked hand and left the place without any argument.

26 Other uses for tooth paste

2011-12-27T19:01:00.000-08:00

26 'OTHER' uses for tooth paste!

Although the primary use of toothpaste is to clean and improve the aesthetic appearance and health of teeth, there are also 26 other things that you can use it for. Every household has one and every household uses it at least twice a day. And because of the common availability of toothpaste, you can try everything below. Remember, use only white paste.

1.Removes stain from cloth
To take out all kinds of stain like ink or lipstick. Squeeze some on the spot, scrub and rinse.

2.Even out scratches on CD / DVD

If the screen freezes, take out the disc, put some toothpaste on it, scrub and clean it off.

3.Cleans diamond ring

Just squeeze a little on a used toothbrush, wet the ring, scrub gently, rinse and your diamond ring should be look sparkling new.

4.Cleans silver

Toothpaste can be used to polish any kind of silver. It really does bring out the shine in silverwares.

5.Placate burns

Right after you get burnt, put it on. It helps to relieve the sting.

6.Removes crayon from painted walls

Rub the marks with the toothpaste and a damp rag. Wipe with water to get rid of residue.

7.Remove carpet stains

Squeeze some onto the carpet, scrub, rinse and let it dry.

8.Relieves insect bites

Spread a little over either of these and you’ll feel soothed and no itches. Mosquito, flea and ant bites work especially well.

9.Keep girl babies’ bows in their hair

If they don’t have much hair this is particularly useful. It doesn’t pull it out, it just washes out.

10.Clean your nails

Teeth and nails are made of the same material. To clean your nails, squeeze some on top of a toothbrush, wet your nails and brush them thoroughly. Be amazed by the sparkle.

11.Clean shoes

Scrubbing toothpaste with a wet toothbrush over the boots, working shoes and rubber part of sneakers will work. It can also be used to remove scuffs.

12.Put up posters

You can use toothpaste to put up posters without damaging the wall. However, avoid using it for collector posters. It can damage the ink over time.

13.Use it to temporarily seal holes

Can be used as a spackle to fill nail holes. This sounds evil, but you can use it right before you move out of your rented apartment.

14.Clean around the bathroom

Use it to clean shower doors and rings around the bath tub. It has an abrasive so that is why it works good.

15.Clean your vehicle’s headlight lenses

Put some toothpaste in a bowl with some water. Use a buffer pad and clean off fog caused by dirt and bugs hitting them.

16.Clean model cars

Hobbyists who collect and build model cars, robots and action figures can certainly use toothpaste to make them nice and shiny.

17.Remove scratches on your watch crystal

Dab some on the watch and scrub it with tissue.

18.Treat acne

Be very careful when using this. Use it at most once a week. Just dab a small amount on a pimple before bed, wake up and it will dry up.

19.Prevent fog in your swimming goggles

Just wipe it on, clean it off. Works well for me.

20.Clean piano keytops

A dab of toothpaste, a soft cloth and some rubbing will usually clean piano keytops and turn them white again.

21.Deodorize smelly hands

Wash your hands with a dab of toothpaste and it will remove smells like onions and other unpleasant odors.

22.Remove scratches on glassware

Polish with a squeeze of toothpaste. Your glassware should be shining in no time.

23.Remove beach tar

Getting that black beach tar on your feet can put a small crimp in your vacation, but it is easy enough to remove. Just rub it with some non-gel toothpaste and rinse.

24.Deodorize baby bottles

Works for sour smelling baby bottles. Scrub with toothpaste and a bottle brush and the bottles should end up smelling clean and fresh.

25.Cleans clothes iron

The mild abrasive in non-gel toothpaste is just the ticket for scrubbing the gunk off the bottom plate of your clothes iron. Apply the toothpaste to the cool iron, scrub with a cloth, then rinse clean.

26.Remove water marks from furniture
To get rid of those telltale watermark rings left by sweating beverages, gently rub some non-gel toothpaste on the wood with a soft cloth.

10 Rules for a Happy Marriage

2011-12-07T23:26:00.000-08:00

1. Never both be angry at the same time.

2. Never yell at each other unless the house is on fire.

3. If one of you has to win an argument, let it be your mate.

4. If you must criticize, do it lovingly.

5. Never bring up mistakes of the past.

6. Neglect the whole world rather than each other.

7. Never go to sleep with an argument unsettled.

8. At least once every day say a kind or complimentary word to your life partner.

9. When you have done something wrong, admit it and ask for forgiveness.

10. Remember it takes 2 to make a quarrel.

-advice from a couple who reached their 50th anniversary and successfully made their marriage a promise for life.

Tg Pinang 24 - 25 Nov 2011

2011-11-30T19:03:00.000-08:00

The last time I traveled to Tg Pinang, Indonesia, is more than 20 years ago. Since I have not been there for so long, I thought it will be good to go back there and see how is the place there now.

(picture taken before our dinner at the Chinese restaurant)
Cost is only S$145 for twin-sharing room. Ferry from Tanah Merah ferry terminal depart at 8:50am. There are only 3 of us going in this trip. I can park my car overnight at the ferry terminal, it cost about S$35. Journey from Tanah Merah to Tg Pinang is between 90 minutes to 120 minutes.

FOOD

Lunch, Dinner and breakfast are included in the package. The lunch at a Java restaurant was good. Seafood dinner in a Chinese restaurant near the sea was also good.

RELAX

We went for massage at a shop called Mona Lisa. It only cost S$12 per hour. My wife went to do her nails after massage. 2 ladies did for her for over an hour, it only cost about S$15. I also had my hair cut and washed for S$5.

ENDING

For a 2 days get away from Singapore is fine but do not expect too much as the place is not as clean as here in Singapore. At the ferry terminal before returning, someone came to help carry our luggage and the things you bought all the way into the ferry, the guy asked for S$10 or Rp60,000 for the service provided.

Which is which ?

2011-11-30T18:29:00.000-08:00

Has not been writing regularly lately. I have been to Indonesia (Batam & Tg Pinang), China (Li Jiang, Ta Li) and Malaysia (Penang, Tai Pin, Klang. Ipoh) in the last 2 months. Below is a interesting story to share.

(the above picture was taken at Penang hill on 4 Nov 11)

Story: A couple moved in to a new place. One day while they’re having their meal, the woman looked out of the window and saw the laundry hang up by their neighbour.

She commented to her husband that their neighbour don’t know how to wash their laundry as it is not clean.

Everytime she looked out of the window, she’ll pass this comments to her husband.

One month later, she looked out of the window and exclaimed: Now, they know how to wash their laundry!

Her husband calmly replied: “I clean our window this morning…”

An Interesting Poem

2011-10-26T02:48:00.001-07:00

When things go wrong as they sometimes will,

When the road you’re trudging seems all up hill,

When the funds are low and the debts are high

And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,

When care is pressing you down a bit,

Rest if you must, but don’t you quit.

Life is queer with its twists and turns,

As every one of us sometimes learns,

And many a failure turns about

When he might have won had he stuck it out;

Don’t give up though the pace seems slow—

You may succeed with another blow,

Success is failure turned inside out—

The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,

And you never can tell how close you are,

It may be near when it seems so far;

So stick to the fight when you’re hardest hit—

It’s when things seem worst that you must not quit.

The Power of a Smile

2011-10-25T22:05:00.000-07:00

The Power of a Smile
“A cheerful heart brings a smile to your face; a sad heart makes it hard to get through the day”

Many people do not realize what the potential a smile can do. It can heal emotional pain, and it can remove physical pain. When you smile at another person you not only let them feel that they are wanted, accepted and appreciated, but that smile can also offer encouragement too.

Kim Meeder, in her book, Fierce Beauty, Choosing to Stand for What Matters Most, wrote of a 15-year old who was taken away from her home to a new environment and to a new school. No one looked or spoke to her for two whole months. She was hurting inside and thought the only way to stop hurting was to end her life. She said to herself, "No one will know I died because no one knew I lived!"

One particular day a boy crossed her path, knocking off a school bag she was carrying. As she was gathering the books, she noticed a blonde girl gazing at her from a distance and smiled. She said to herself that she would wait for one more day if someone still noticed me. Sure enough the same girl showed up and smiled.

They became good friends.

You would never know that your smile could save a life of another person. That one simple smile has the power to calm fear, insecurity, hurt, and anxiety. A single smile has the power within it to change the world because smiles can be shared. Smiles are contagious, so when you smile at another person, you pass all the wonderful benefits of smiling on to that person.
Look yourself in a mirror. When you smile, you look good. An anatomical adage states that it takes something like 43 muscles to frown but only 17 muscles to smile. And you know what, I want to quote what an author Lee Mildon said, "People seldom notice old clothes if you wear a big smile.”

People around you will wonder what you are “up to.” It is fun to keep people guessing.

Smile! You can surely brighten your day.

Are You Ready for an Alternative Vacation ?

2011-10-25T20:35:00.000-07:00

Are YOU Ready for an Alternative Vacation?

'Getting away from it all’ is something most of us do at least once a year. The holiday or vacation has become an integral part of our culture and something we look forward to. For some it’s a break from work, for others it’s an escape from work! For many it’s simply a time to be relaxed and contented because we often tend to perceive work as time spent in a stressful and often unhappy place. And for a few the ‘anticipation’ is often greater than the ‘realization’ simply because wherever you go, there you are! And until there is the realisation that any stress or unhappiness in our life are always self created then even the annual holiday can easily be a bit of a let-down.
Obviously not everyone would say they feel unhappy and unrelaxed at work, however just the use of the word ‘work’ can trigger a certain …anxiety! Unsurprisingly the very idea of work still tends to attract the labels of ‘necessary evil’ or ‘daily drudgery’. Whatever it is, it seems to require a holiday!
The Original Holiday!
During the last twenty years there has been an explosion in the popularity of retreats. For hundreds of years a retreat was perceived almost exclusively as a ‘spiritual pursuit’. It was central to the quest for a deeper wisdom and clearer insight into the true meaning of life. It was a time to go to a place of solitude, silence and self-reflection. It’s purpose was to drop the distractions of worldly concerns and material attachments in order to rediscover the ‘spiritual dimension’, commune with the divine and realize ones core spiritual nature.
A retreat was a precursor to the idea of going on holiday and was made up of ‘holy days’. It was seen as a time to strengthen a personal connection with ‘the source’ in whatever way one perceived or defined such an entity/energy. Then came the world of work with the intensity of the factory, the production line and the rise of the continuously consuming society. While this was positioned as ‘progress’ it was neither a liberating nor a happy making experience for the soul. Holidays became a necessary time for rest and renewal. Some relief from the harshness of work and the working environment became an essential part of our culture. It also became another reward for working hard which, roughly translated, meant compensation for a ‘loss of freedom and happiness’.
Off to Work
On the other side of the coin, for some, the world of work has become an escape in itself. The rise of the workaholic and the action addict, as someone who escapes into work and not from work, is often perceived to be a way of avoiding the ‘more important’ dimensions of life. These can be anything from family responsibilities to difficult relationships, from the need to avoid resolving some deep psychological trauma to simply avoiding responsibility for our life. It is then more likely that either the stress of avoidance or just the perceived stress of work itself, often both, would eventually trigger a personal crisis and a search for ways to centre and rebalance one’s life.   At this point the possible value of a retreat rather than just another holiday may be considered.
Coming Back to Self
Authentic ‘spiritual retreats’ are not about strengthening our attachment to certain ‘beliefs’, religious or otherwise. A spiritually renewing retreat is designed to take us beyond our beliefs and help us rediscover the innately held ‘truths’ about our self and about how to live in harmony and alignment to those truths. Truths that are already present but lying dormant within our consciousness.
On an authentic retreat, with a spiritual emphasis, the world is temporarily put to one side and the true nature of self is contemplated. Questions of identity (who am I?), meaning and purpose (why am I here?), are explored in a reflective state of consciousness. Certain practices facilitate spiritual awakening through the process of self- realization.    In a spiritual retreat there is the conscious effort to bring the noise of the over stimulated monkey mind into a state of silence and stillness. Only in such a state of stillness does the quiet voice of ones innate spiritual wisdom get the chance to be felt and heard.   In silence the real ‘I’, the real self, is revealed and known as pure awareness. All the many false ‘I’s, the unreal identities (with job, possessions, people etc) are seen for what they are, illusory identities. Gradually they lose their power and fall away. The true nature of being, which is profoundly peaceful yet infinitely powerful is rediscovered and restored.
Holidays versus Retreats
While a holiday is made up of ones ‘annual allowance’ of work-free days, a retreat is made of a number of what is hoped will be ‘holy days’, where holy in this case means days spent ‘beyond the material’.   A holiday usually means traveling to an exotic destination in an attempt to ‘stimulate’ our body into relaxation! A retreat, on the other hand, usually means traveling to a very ordinary and simple location, to meditate and reflect, in order to end all stimulation so that mind and spirit can relax properly… at last!   While the holiday tends to have en external focus with ‘sight seeing’ and visits to ancient places, the aim of a retreat is an internal focus with the purpose of ‘insight seeing’, self-realisation and the rediscovery of one’s innate wisdom.
While many will return from their holiday in need of a rest, those who return from a retreat are more likely to have a renewed energy based on a combination of new perspectives about ones self and the meaning of life itself. While the ‘holiday maker’ is often weary and drained by the ‘living it up’ life style, the retreatant tends to have a new enthusiasm that comes from a reprioritization of what’s really important in life. While the holiday tends to burn up a lot of energy with physical exercise and unfocussed mental activity, the retreat is a time to conserve and refresh our energy, learn new ways to manage ones mental activity and tap into ‘the source’ of spiritual power. On a traditional holiday rest comes with sleeping, on an authentic spiritual retreat rest comes with awakening!
Then and Now
While the ‘vacationer’ returns laden with many photos, memories and perhaps home movies of their adventures, the ‘retreatant’ returns much lighter after starting to ditch old memories, habits and lifelong patterns of thinking and behaving.   The holiday experience fades with little lasting value whereas the retreat experience expands when used on a day-to-day basis. That’s because the holiday destination was some far of location, often some thousands of miles away, whereas the ultimate retreat destination is the very centre of the self which is always only one second and no distance away. When that daily journey to work begins again the next ‘holiday experience’ lies well into the future, whereas the ‘retreat insperience’ is always available in the present. Holidays become memories of ‘then’ while retreats are accessible ‘now’!
How do you Know?
In the last few decades the word ‘retreat’ has been hijacked. It is now used to describe all kinds of ‘getaways’ from a weekend of pampering at the local spa to corporate gatherings in five star hotels. While we may know when we’ve been on a good holiday how do we know how good was our spiritual retreat? Here are seven signs of a worthwhile retreat:

1 You return with a deeper awareness of your authentic self and understanding of your self as a spiritual being including an awareness of how and when you lose your sense of identity ‘in the material/physical’ world.
2 You return with a deeper insight and understanding of how life works in terms of the dynamics of your day-to-day relationships.
3 You return with a method of meditation that you can use to continue cultivating self awareness.
4 You return with greater clarity on ways to access your innate wisdom and apply your spiritual power.
5 You return with some sound advice on how to adjust your lifestyle in ways that will support your ongoing spiritual awakening
6 You return with a new perspective and possibly reprioritization of the ‘role of work’ in your life
7 You return feeling refreshed, enthusiastic and empowered to face what previously appeared to be difficult relationships and/or situations
The Real Retreat Within
If you haven’t yet retreated in real life in real time to a real retreat location here is a simple inner exercise for daily practice that may help you when your emotions flare and the stress kicks in.
Imagine yourself heading to a cave in the hills or a secluded cottage in the mountains. See your self sitting quietly in the silence of an evening sunset. The sky is a warm reddish hue. It is a windless evening and everything as still. You are wrapped by the silence of the mountains and although your gaze looks outwards your awareness turns inwards. You can feel a peace arising from deep within your being. A quiet voice whispers in your inner ear ‘all is well, all is well, all is as it is’. And in that moment every worry, every concern, every care dissolves. You sit quietly in the glowing power of your own being…silent and still… just being… silent and still …simply… being.
Whenever you need to replenish your personal energy with the power of your own inner peace go ‘into retreat’ and recover your peace and your power. Caves in the mountains, cottages in hills, Ashrams and Monasteries as ‘retreat centres’, are all just metaphors for the ‘inner space’ of your own consciousness, your own spirit…YOU! You can go there anytime. Once you have found that ‘inner space’ you are likely to discover an energy that, in time, and with a little practice, restores calm to your mind and clarity to your intellect, in a matter of moments. And then one day you will realise YOU were always ‘there’ all along! At which point you will smile quietly and nothing ‘out there’ will ever bother you again.
Most of us, at some time or other, long to find a place where the busy-ness, noise and stressors of the world will not intrude – a place which nurtures the spirit and gives us the chance to be at peace. While going on a retreat gives you a chance to get away from it all, reflect on your life and relationships, get to know your self and even create a new vision for your life, the real benefit is when you return to deal with living in this world. And when you do you are more likely to realise the true value of turning your holidays into holy days!
Question: Why do you go on holiday and what do you think is stopping you from going on a retreat?
Reflection: When you go to work and work becomes very important or get lost in action what might you be escaping?
Action: Consciously create two 3 minute windows each day this week to practice ‘going on retreat’ with the exercise above. Develop the exercise for your self.

The Paradox of Presentation

2011-10-01T17:35:00.000-07:00

Just attended a presentation on THE PARADOX OF PRESENTATION by Lorraine Kwek.

1st Paradox - I like to improve my presentation skill but when there is an opportunity to present, I will give it to others
This is also the "Power Rangers" syndrome. Remember how the Power Rangers post themselves ? They point their fingers to the left and right. What we should do about presentation is learn to enjoy during a presentation. Where possible, present on the subject you love.

2nd Paradox - I cannot get audience attention
The question is how to get the audience attention and maintain attention ? The fact is it is not easy if you are not somebody. But you can get audience attention by using the 7 seconds charisma. What you need to do is shut up for 7 seconds and maintain eye contact with the audience. Remember not to use the "Terminator" look. Eye contact is to acknowledge your presence and it is simple. According to expert, 6 seconds is to register you as a person, your personality, it also shows you can handle it.

3rd Paradox - I got no charisma
Is it true that you got no charisma ? The answer is no. As long as you are alive, you have it. You can act as if your grandfather owns the place and you have something to share with the audience. Remember this :
What is meant to be said will be remember, what is not to be said will be forgotten.
--------------end of my record--------------------------------------
If you like to invite Lorraine Kwek to give a free talk on presentation to some audience, let me know. I must say I enjoyed the entire presentation.

Ohana Means Family

2011-09-13T06:07:00.000-07:00

OHANA MEANS FAMILY

Two men met at a bus stop and struck up a conversation. One of them

complained of family problems.

Finally, the other man said, "You think you have family problems?

Listen. A few years ago I met a young widow with a grown-up

daughter, and we got married. Later my father married my

stepdaughter. That made my stepdaughter my stepmother and my father

became my stepson. Also, my wife became mother-in-law of her

father-in-law.

"Then the daughter of my wife, my stepmother, had a son. This boy

was my half-brother because he was my father's son, but he was also

the son of my wife's daughter, which made him my wife's grandson.

That made me the grandfather of my half-brother.

"This was nothing until my wife and I had a son. Now the half-sister

of my son, my stepmother, is also the grandmother. This makes my

father the brother-in-law of my child, whose stepsister is my

father's wife. I'm my stepmother's brother-in-law, my wife is her

own child's aunt, my son is my father's nephew and I'm my own

grandfather. Now - tell me about your family problems."

I don't know if sorting out your family is a problem. A bigger issue

for many of us is that we want more from family life than just

knowing who's who, and more than we're presently getting.

One of the most common complaints I hear from families is that they

are not close. They may be close in proximity, but still not feel

close as a family. They may live next door or even in the same

house, but feel more like strangers.

Hawaiians have a powerful word for family: 'ohana. In 'ohana, people

matter. And they know it. As Lilo says in "Lilo and Stitch, "'Ohana

means family. Family means no one is left behind - or forgotten."

Families that value closeness work hard to keep anyone from feeling

left behind or forgotten.

In my family, closeness is not so much about latitude as about

attitude. We live far apart from one another, so we need a

willingness to do what it takes. We feel closest when we feel

understood, when we feel loved and when we look forward to time we

can spend together. When we succeed, no one feels left behind - or

forgotten.

A reader in Hawaii once wrote to tell me that the CEO of one of the

state's largest banks was considering a run for governor. Since he

was well-liked, he seemed to have a good chance of winning.

But, before filing papers, he changed his mind, stating that he

wanted to spend more time with his family. Not that elected

officials can't be family-oriented, but he reasoned he needed more

time at home than the job allowed.

Ronald A. Young, in the "Honolulu Advertiser," praised the decision.

"No matter what you accomplish in the business world or the social

world," he said, "if you fail 'ohana, then you have not accomplished

much. Failure or success does not lie in the material wealth you

provide them. It is measured by what of yourself you give to them."

And that's the question, isn't it? What of myself do I give to them?

What am I willing to give to 'ohana? Because no one should be left

behind - or forgotten.

-- Steve Goodier

A Daughter, A Father and a bit of Truth

2011-09-02T18:40:00.000-07:00

A Daughter, A Father and a bit of Truth

A young woman was about to finish her first year of college. Like so many others her age, she considered herself to be very liberal, and among other liberal ideals, was very much in favor of higher taxes to support more government programs, in other words redistribution of wealth.

She was deeply ashamed that her father was a rather staunch conservative, a feeling she openly expressed. Based on the lectures that she had participated in, and the occasional chat with a professor, she felt that her father had for years harbored an evil, selfish desire to keep what he thought should be his.

One day she was challenging her father on his opposition to higher taxes on the rich and the need for more government programs.

The self-professed objectivity proclaimed by her professors had to be the truth and she indicated so to her father. He responded by asking how she was doing in school.

Taken aback, she answered rather haughtily that she had a 4.0 GPA, and let him know that it was tough to maintain, insisting that she was taking a very difficult course load and was constantly studying, which left her no time to go out and party like other people she knew. She didn't even have time for a boyfriend, and didn't really have many college friends
because she spent all her time studying.

Her father listened and then asked, "How is your friend Audrey doing?"

She replied, "Audrey is barely getting by. All she takes are easy classes, she never studies and she barely has a 2.0 GPA. She is so popular on campus; college for her is a blast. She's always invited to all the parties and lots of times she doesn't even show up for classes because she's too hung over."

Her wise father asked his daughter, "Why don't you go to the Dean's office and ask him to deduct 1.0 off your GPA and give it to your friend who only has a 2.0. That way you will both have a 3.0 GPA and certainly that would be a fair and equal distribution of GPA."

The daughter, visibly shocked by her father's suggestion, angrily fired back, "That's a crazy idea, how would that be fair! I've worked really hard for my grades! I've invested a lot of time, and a lot of hard work! Audrey has done next to nothing toward her degree. She played while I worked my tail off!"

The father slowly smiled, winked and said gently, "Welcome to the conservative side of the fence."

If you ever wondered what side of the fence you sit on, this is a great test!

If a conservative doesn't like guns, he doesn't buy one.
If a liberal doesn't like guns, he wants all guns outlawed.

If a conservative is a vegetarian, he doesn't eat meat.

If a liberal is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for everyone.

If a conservative is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation.
A liberal wonders who is going to take care of him.

If a conservative doesn't like a talk show host, he switches channels.
Liberals demand that those they don't like be shut down.

If a conservative is a non-believer, he doesn't go to church.
A liberal non-believer wants any mention of God and Jesus silenced.

If a conservative decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for it, or may choose a job that provides it.
A liberal demands that the rest of us pay for his.

If a conservative reads this, he'll forward it so his friends can have a good laugh.
A liberal will delete it because he's "offended."

What are you ?

My Experience in Batam Projects 2010 - 11 as volunteer

2011-08-29T22:22:00.000-07:00

My Experience in Batam Projects 2010 - 11 as volunteer

My first Batam trip is on 12 Jun 2010. It was a very good experience and I went back there again 3 times this year (2011).

[3rd from left is Jesline and 2nd from right is Ruheng]

Ask me why I keep going back, the answer is simply because I love to give and I feel good when I do good. One of the main difference between last year trip and this year trip is last year trip we bring all the things to give from

Singapore

whereas for this year trips, things are mostly bought in Batam. All my trips are over the weekend, ie Saturday and Sunday, except my latest trip, 7 – 9 Aug 11, which lasted for 3 days to coincide with our National Day.

Below shows the different orphanages I have been to or helped :

No	*Name of Orphanage*	*Total*	*Teacher*	*Total*	*Location*

1	AL - IKHLAS	23	3	26	T.UNCANG

2	HIZBUL WATON	20	3	23	SEI TEMIANG

3	AL - IRSYAD	40	2	42	TIBAN

4	BINA UMMAH	48	7	55	RS ( PERUM BINA UMMAH)

5	PERMATE BATAM	27	3	30	PERUM BUMI SAKINAH

6	FROFIDENSIA	123	7	130	TIBAN

7	PANTI BATESDA	43	3	46	BATAM CENTRE

8	PANTI AL - ANSHORI	36	3	39	DEPAN PBI

9	L-SADAI	21	2	23	TG. PIAYU

10	ANNI'MAH	40	3	43	DAPUR 12

11	MIFTAHUL ULUM	30	2	32	BATAM CENTRE

12	ST TERESIA	98	5	103	BARELANG

13	AL - MUTALIM	33	2	35	TG UMA

	TOTAL	582	45	627

Some of the Orphanages are linked to religion and some are not linked. At the orphanage, we will give the children a nice meal and play some games, sing and dance with the children there. Before we say good-bye, we will also give each child a goodie bag.

My first trip was with the help of an active cyclist, Collin Ng. We stayed at Batam View Resort when we were there. Over at the resort, there is a nice swimming pool and a big spa with different packages for people to choose from. It is the first time I have my massage with a nice sea view. My wife and I were asked to remove everything before the massage.

Subsequent trips in 2011 we stayed at Batam town. The arrangement were done by Ruheng and Jesline Heng, both are Buddhist. Stay in Batam town is good because we can buy our stuff to give away and enjoyed the local food nearby our hotel. Massage is available at the hotel or within walking distance.

Finally, there are many photos and memories to share, I just want to say if I have opportunity to go back to Batam again, I will still do so. I believes everyone has their dreams including the orphanages in Batam. How to make their DREAMS come true ? The answer is you do it by working.

Drop me a mail at ychaoloy@singnet.com.sg if you are interested to join me.
Thank you for reading.

My New Yonex Badminton Racket

2011-07-29T18:56:00.000-07:00

My New Yonex Badminton Racket

I went to Batam to help organise a party for the orphans and some single mother there, in June 2011. While we were at a market buying things for the children and the single mother, I saw a Yonex badminton racket at a stationary shop. After checking the price, I decided to buy the racket. I come with a bag and looks fine with me. It cost only about S$25. On the racket, it is written NANO SPEED.

Upon returning to Singapore, I went to re-string the new racket. At the shop where I use to patron when my racket string broke, the moment I gave my new racket to the boss of the shop at Beauty World Centre, he told me the racket is not real, a real racket of this model would cost around S$295. He then asked me how much I bought the racket. When I said it only cost me about S$25 and I bought it in Batam. He was kind enough to ask me whether I still want a re-string. Not knowing how the feeling is like when I play with this racket, I asked him to re-string for me. It cost me S$16.

I tried out the new racket the following week at Henry Park Pri School badminton hall. It is one of the worst racket I ever used. The racket is too flexible. I stopped using it from then.

Having play badminton when I was around 11 years old, I never new there are fake Yonex badminton racket. When I told my badminton friends, they just listen and don't have much to say. Last Friday, I was with some friends having lunch at a Japanese Restaurant. We were talking about the fake Apple shop in China, when I told them the story about my new badminton racket, one of my friend could not stop laughing, she said I made her day. Again, the same story told by the same person to different people, you get different response.

Thanks for reading. Send me your comments ychaoloy@singnet.com.sg

My 3rd Trip to Kukup, Johore, Malaysia

2011-06-03T21:05:00.000-07:00

[photo taken at the resort : left to right : Jessie, Janet, lady boss, Raymond's mum & sis and me.]

I made my 3rd trip to Kukup on 28 - 29 May 2011. My previous 2 trips there were by coach. This time, we drove there on our own.

Parking there is convenient and cheap. There is a big sheltered car carpark before the jetty, it is called "Mouse Carpark". Not sure why it is called Mouse. The charges to park there is RM6.

We stayed one night at Kukup Colourful Resort. The address is No. 66, Kukup Laut, 82300 Pontian, Johor.

website : http://www.colourfulchalet.com/

The charges is RM90 for 1 night stay with 5 meals. Last meal is a seafood lunct at a restaurant nearby.
Those who like marjong and karaoke will enjoy staying there.

8 Gifts That Do Not Cost A Cent to share

2011-04-10T07:08:00.000-07:00

8 Gift That Do Not Cost A Cent to share

I was at NUH yesterday (9 Apr 11) morning because my mum complaint one of her shoulder to very painful, so I send her to the emergency dept at NUH.

While waiting for her, I went to the bookshop at NUh and saw this interesting article. Here it is :

My mum was discharge this afternoon (10 Apr 11). She was given some drips of potassium chloride yesterday at the hospital and felt better today.

No need for Facials & Slimming to make yourself attractive

2011-04-05T15:18:00.000-07:00

No need for Facials & Slimming to make yourself attractive

For attractive lips, speak words of kindness.

For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people.

For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry.

For beautiful hair, let a child run his/her fingers through it once a day.

For poise, walk with the knowledge that you never walk alone.

People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; never throw out anyone. Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms. As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands; one for helping yourself, and the other for helping others.

Thanks to Joo Hock for forwarding me this nice poem. The above photo shows the current 7 members from Apex Club of Singapore (City) taken on 4 Apr 11 during the birthday celebration for our President, Michael Tan, at Hans (Jalan Bukit Merah).

Passing of our Ex-CE

2011-04-04T22:18:00.000-07:00

I was so sad last Tue, 29 Mar 11, morning when I heard that our formal CE has just passed away the day before.
Read the original article below.

The former Chief Executive of Singapore's Defence Science and Technology Agency (DSTA), Soh Kong Pheng, died on Monday (28 March) from kidney cancer, aged 60.

Mr Soh stepped down as Chief Executive of DSTA in December 2010, having announced his retirement a month before upon learning of his ailment. While being treated for kidney cancer, he contracted dengue fever and had to suspend his cancer treatment.

His daughter, 25-year old Soh Lee Ling, said: "After my father's retirement, we had planned to travel to the US around January or February to visit my elder sister and her newborn daughter, and celebrate Chinese New Year together as a family. However, after he fell ill, we had to remain in Singapore so that he could receive treatment."

According to Ms Soh, although her father was busy with work, he always cared and though for his family, even when he was sick in bed.

When Mr Soh retired last year, his colleagues in DSTA compiled a commemorative book for him. In it, an individual penned a message saying: "Mr Soh was a modest gentleman. Even after assuming the post of Chief Executive, he still treated all his staff as equals. Whenever introducing me to others, he would describe me as his "colleague" rather than his "chauffeur"."

According to a DSTA spokesperson, staff members are saddened by Mr Soh's departure and they fondly remember his contributions to the organisation.

Soh Kong Pheng joined the Singapore Armed Forces in 1972 and has held several major appointments, including Head of the Defence Material Organisation. He was DSTA's Deputy Chief Executive (Operations) in 2000, and became the agency's Chief Executive in 2008. Last year, he received the Public Administration Medal (Gold) from the President of Singapore.
---------end of article------
One of the lesson I learnt is that we should not wait till we are retired then enjoy life. A lot of people have this thinking that I should save as much as I can while I am young and able to work and wait till I retire then enjoy life. But they forgot that when they are old, a lot of things they cannot do or enjoy. For example, when you are old, you cannot eat as much as when you are young, you cannot eat the nice & fatty stuff due to health reason, you cannot carry a 20 kg luggage to go travelling, you will not be able to change flights, you cannot walk as far as when you are young, you cannot climb a low hill, etc. There are many more reasons why we should not wait till retire to enjoy life.

Some Words for Ourselves

2011-02-19T19:28:00.000-08:00

Dear Friends,

I have not write on my blog for quite a while. I still get about 20 visitors a week for my blog. With the energies of the Lunar New Year upon us, there is no better time than now to make a powerful commitment; to heal your unconscious guilt allowing you to create the life you've always wanted! Below is an interesting article from our local Chinese Newspaper.

It shares some things for ourselves. Do not go against an idiot, society, yourself, relatives, things of the past and reality. Reasons are simple.

Lastly, some of my friends and colleagues asked me, how many "Lo Hei" (or "Yu Sheng" or raw fish and vegetable salad), I had during this Chinese New Year. My answer is I have lost count. This morning, I looked at my planner and did a stocktake. From 22 Jan 11 until the last day of Chinese New Year, 17 Feb 11, I had 11 "Lo Heis". Some days I had 2 "Lo Heis" on one day. I have decided to change my diet to vegetarian diet from now for 3 months.

Another of my close Friend left me

2011-01-10T06:52:00.000-08:00

ANOTHER OF MY CLOSE FRIEND LEFT ME

I was rather sad on 30th Dec 2010 reason being another of my close friend, Chan NH, left me. In Jan 2010, my close friend Alex who is also a qualified TCM, pass away. We use to have tea-break and lunch together whenever he come to our building.

I was actually on leave on 30th Dec 10, but I went back to my office to catch a lift from my colleague to a buffet lunch at Holiday Inn. I was slightly early when I arrived at my office, so I decided to have a drink at our canteen. It was then that our canteen operator, Yogo, told me Chan was hospitalised on 29 Dec 10. When I tried to find out more from her, she was not able to tell me. She just said she is visiting Chan on that day after work. Later that day, I called up a colleague of mine who is very close with close and found out that Chan is brain dead already.

On 31 Dec 10, my car was ready for collection at a workshop in Tuas. I arranged with a colleague of mine to visit Chan on 1 Jan 11 but my colleague called me to say Chan's heart has stop beating.

I went to Chan's wake on 2 Jan 11.

Chan's Death Can Actually Be Avoided

After talking to my colleague who was very closed to Chan, I found out that Chan death can actually be avoided. About 1 week before Chan died, he went to see Chinese doctor for flu. But it did not recover. So on 27 Dec 10, he went to see his GP. After his GP did a check on him, his GP wrote a letter for him to be admitted to hospital immediately. But he did not go to hospital straight because he has made an appointment with CPF to sign up a Life Plan on 29 Dec 10. I think he intended to go for his appointment first before going to hospital. So he missed his 1st chance to live longer. On 28 Dec 10 evening, Chan vomitted blood at home, his wife asked to go to hospital for check-up but he refused to do so. He missed his 2nd chance to live longer. On 29 Dec 10, after he got up in the morning, I was told he was doing his usual stretching after he get up from bed, but after some stretching, he fainted. His wife called for ambulance immediately. About 30 minutes later, he arrived at the hospital. The doctor did a check on him and found out that he is brain dead because there was no oxygen supplied to his brain for about 30 minutes. The next day his heart stop pumping, the doctor said his death is due to pneumonia which is commonly known as lung infection.

What are some of the lessons we can learnt from Chan's death ?

I think when the doctor listen to his breathing, the doctor suspected something is not right. That is why the doctor ask him to be admitted immediately.

If one vomitted blood, it is another sign of something serious has happened, admit to hospital immediately.

If flu prolong, go for thorough check, one could be suffering from pneumonia.

We only live once, so do not take sickness likely especially when we pass 60 years old. Chan is 63 this year.

10 Mantras To Age Gracefully

2010-12-30T17:43:00.000-08:00

10 Mantras To Age Gracefully

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
*1. *Never say ‘I am aged': There are three ages, chronological, biological, and psychological. The first is calculated based on our date of birth ; the second is determined by the health conditions and the third is how old you feel you are. While we don't have control over the first, we can take care of our health with good diet, exercise and a cheerful attitude. A positive attitude and optimistic thinking can reverse the third age.

*2. *Health is wealth : If you really love your kith and kin, taking care of your health should be your priority. Thus, you will not be a burden to them. Have an annual health check-up and take the prescribed medicines regularly. Do take health insurance cover.

*3.* Money is important : Money is essential for meeting the basic necessities of life, keeping good health and earning family respect and security. Don't spend beyond your means even for your children. You have lived for them all through and it is time you enjoyed a harmonious life. If your children are grateful and they take care of you, you are blessed. But never take it for granted.

*4. *Relaxation and recreation : The most relaxing and recreating forces are a healthy religious attitude, good sleep, music and laughter. Have faith in you, learn to sleep well, love good music and see the funny side of life.

*5. *Time is precious : It is almost like holding a horse's reins. When they are in your hands, you can control them. Imagine that everyday you are born again. Yesterday is a cancelled cheque. Tomorrow is a promissory note. Today is ready cash — use it profitably. Live this moment.

*6. *Change is the only permanent thing : We should accept change — it is inevitable. The only way to make sense out of change is to join the dance. Change has brought about many pleasant things. We should be happy that our children are blessed.

*7. *Enlightened selfishness : All of us are basically selfish. Whatever we do, we expect something in return. We should definitely be grateful to those who stood by us. But our focus should be on the internal satisfaction and happiness we derive by doing good to others, without expecting anything in return.

*8. *Forget and Forgive : Don't be bothered too much about others' mistakes. We are not spiritual enough to show our other cheek when we are slapped in one. But for the sake of our own health and happiness, let us forgive and forget them. Otherwise, we will be only increasing our BP.

*9. *Everything has a purpose : Take life as it comes. Accept yourself as you are and also accept others for what they are. Everybody is unique and right in his own way.

*10. *Overcome the fear of death : We all know that one day we have to leave this world. Still we are afraid of death. We think that our spouse and children will be unable to withstand our loss. But the truth is no one is going to die for you ; they may be depressed for some time. Time heals everything and they will carry on.

One Simple Secret to Managing Work Stress

2010-12-23T23:34:00.000-08:00

One Simple Secret to Managing Work Stress
Rusty Rueff, On Saturday 18 December 2010, 0:17 SGT

More books have been written about stress management than any of us could ever read. Consultants, psychologists and psychiatrists have made their living on helping others deal with stress. While a myriad of tactics and tricks can help us manage stress at our jobs, one simple action is often overlooked:

Arriving early.

There's no stress in being early. This small yet important tip can significantly reduce your own stress, and it also shows those around you how to act when work heats up.

Think about these scenarios and see if you can apply them when it comes to managing the stress in your job:

-- If your schedule requires you to be in the office at 8:00 a.m., show up at 7:40 a.m. Those extra 20 minutes will give you time to settle in and get organized before the pressure really heats up.

[See 10 Ways to Make Any Job Healthier.]

-- If the meeting starts at 10:00 a.m., arrive at 9:50 a.m. Use those extra ten minutes in the meeting room to collect your thoughts, get in the right frame of mind, or take a moment to check your Blackberry.

-- If your one-on-one with your boss is scheduled at a regular time each week, show up five minutes early so you're already there and ready to go when her door opens. Consider using your extra five minutes to talk to the boss's assistant, creating a relationship that pays dividends.

-- If your presentation is due on Thursday morning, organize your workload so you can deliver it the evening before, eliminating loss of sleep and anxiety on Wednesday night.

-- If you're responsible for providing end-of-year performance reviews, don't wait until the week right before the review to get started. The last week will always be the most stressful, and your feedback won't be nearly as constructive if you rush to provide it. Set a plan ahead of time for how you'll tackle the written reviews. For example, if you need to review 10 employees and you have four weeks before in-person reviews, aim to complete two to three written reviews each week. A bit of planning and organization can go a long way when it comes to reducing your stress levels.

[See The Value of a True Lunch Break.]

-- If you're faced with a meeting across town that starts at 4:00 p.m., think ahead about your commute time. Without traffic, you could make it in half an hour, but who knows how long it will take when a lot of vehicles are on the road. Give yourself plenty of time to reach your destination, even if you risk arriving earlier than necessary. It's worth the time you'd otherwise spend fretting about arriving late. While most of us despise sitting in traffic, in this case, it can be turned into time to think, relax, or catch up on a few phone calls.

[For more career advice, visit U.S. News Careers, or find us on Facebook or Twitter.]

Combined with other stress management tricks that work for you, looking for opportunities to be early is an effective way to keep your cool. And don't forget that the people around you--your colleagues, staff, and maybe even your boss--look to you as an example of how to handle moments of pressure. By incorporating the "there's no stress in being early" approach, you'll help your workdays move more smoothly, both for you and for everyone else.

Rusty Rueff, director and career expert for jobs and career website Glassdoor.com has been a CEO, led HR in global companies and is co-author of Talent Force: A New Manifesto for the Human Side of Business.

My First Trip to Japan 17 - 29 Nov 2010

2010-12-18T07:29:00.000-08:00

MY FIRST TRIP TO JAPAN 17 - 29 NOV 2010

Japan is a country that I am dreaming to go for a long time. Maybe the time is not right yet for me to go. Could be also due to the cost that my dream did not come true. But in Jun 10 when my friends from the Bucky Group told me that they are making a trip to Japan in Nov 10, my first question I asked them was "Is it going to be expensive ?". The answer I got was "No, because we are going on back-pack and we will be staying at guesthouses.". My next question then was "Can we still join ?". The answer I got was "Yes, but need to decide fast as we are going to do the booking for air-tickets and guesthouses soon. There are 7 people confirmed going." I must thank our leader, June San, for being so helpful and kind to plan the trip for us, do the necessary bookings, lead us while we were there and also help us to save a lot of money for this trip. All in for the 12 days in Japan including air-ticket, I spent about S$2,500. And that include shopping for things I like and things to give my neighbours, colleagues and friends. June was so kind to take us round the places even she had been there before, I am really touched.

I have heard a lot from friends about their trip to Japan. All said it was very good. For me, I must said it was lucky for me to choose Japan as the last country to travel in Asia. Because I have been to Taiwan, China, South Korea, HK, Macau, Thailand, Loas, Myanmar, Vietman and Cambodia, Japan to me is the best. Why I say it is the best, below are my sharing :

People

People in Japan are so friendly and courteous. If you ask for direction, they will be happy to help you and some even come forward to help without you asking. I remember I was at a medicine shop one evening. All the staff there are so happy working at the store. They are full of energy until the store closed. When you make your payment, they will greet you and show their appreciation. Every restaurants we went, the customer service is excellent.

I also do not have the feeling that the Japanese are trying to make money from us because no one will come to you to sell thing. If you like to buy any thing, just ask, they will be happy to serve you. Unlike so country, everywhere you go, there will be people trying to sell something to you.

Scenary

My trip was mainly to see the autumn of Kyoto, Osaka and Nara. The autumn there is so colourful. Every spot you go, you can spend time taking photo just at one spot. Every step you make, the view is different and you can continue to take more photos.

Cleanliness of Environment

Everywhere we go, it is so clean, so neat and so tidy. As for the streams we saw, all the water are so clean and crystal clear. It is part of their culture.

Social Security

Everywhere we went, we felt so safe. I can see people there generally have their own job, the crime there is very low. Even in a city or at the market, I can see people just park their bicyle and go and do their own things. No one will steal their bicycle.

Food

Being an asian, we are use to eat Chinese food. I must say I fall in love with the Japanese food when I was in Japan, it just taste very good. I also find that Japanese food is actually healthy food. They hardly use oil to do the cooking other than deep fried stuff like prawn.

Finally, I enjoyed very much while I was in Japan. It was a totally new experience for me. The culture there is so different for us. I find that we have a lot to learn from them.

The Man of Perfect Virtue

2010-12-06T17:04:00.001-08:00

The man of perfect virtue, wishing to be established himself, seeks also to establish others; wishing to be enlarged himself, he seeks also to enlarge others.

-- Confucius (Analects 6.28.2)

Who to Appreciate, When and How

2010-12-05T14:31:00.000-08:00

Appreciation : What to appreciate, When and How: an Important Lesson!

One young academically excellent person went for an interview for a managerial position in a big company. He passed the first interview; BUT in that Company, the director did the last interview, made the last decision.

The director discovered from the CV, that the youth's academic result was excellent all the way, from the secondary school until the postgraduate research, never was there a year he did not score. The director asked, "Did you obtain any scholarship in school?" and the youth answered "no".

The director asked, " Did your father pay your school fees?". The youth answered, "my father passed away when I was one year old and it was my mother who paid my school fees".

The director asked, " Where did your mother work?" the youth answered, "my mother worked as cloth cleaner." The director requested the youth to show his hands and the youth showed a pair of hands that was smooth and perfect to the director.

The director asked, " Did you ever help your mother wash clothes before?" The youth answered, "never, my mother always wanted me to study and read more books, furthermore, my mother could wash clothes faster than I could"

The director said, I have a request, when you go back today, go and help to clean your mother's hand, and then see me tomorrow morning.

The youth felt that the chance of landing the job was high and when he went back, he happily wanted to clean his mother's hands. His mother felt strange. With happiness mixed with fear, she showed her hands to the kid.

The youth cleaned his mother's ha! nds slowl! y and his tears fell as he did that. It was the first time he noticed that his mother's hands were so wrinkled, and that there were so many bruises in her hands. Some bruises were so painful that she shuddered when his mother's hands were cleaned with water.

This is the first time that the youth realized and experienced that it is this pair of hands that washed the clothes every day to earn him the school fees and that the bruises in the mother's hand were the price that the mother paid for his graduation and academic excellence and probably his future.

After finishing the cleaning of his mother's hands, the youth quietly washed all the remaining clothes for his mother.

That night, the mother and son talked for a very long time.

Next morning, the youth went to the director's office. The director noticed the tear in the youth's eye and asked: "Can you tell what you did and learnt yesterday in your house?"

The youth answered, "I cleaned my mother's hands and also finished washing all the remaining clothes".

The director asked, "Please tell me what you felt"

The youth said:

"Number 1 , I know what appreciation is now'. Without my mother, I would not be successful today.

Number 2, Now I know how to work together with my mother. Only now do I realize how difficult and tough it is to get something done.

Number 3, I know the importance and value of family relationship."

Later on, this young person worked very hard, and received the respect of his subordinates, every employee worked diligently and as a team and the company improved tremendously.

The Lessons from this an ecdote:

A child who has been protected and habitually given whatever he needs, develops "entitlement mentality"and always puts himself first. He is ignorant of his parents' efforts. When he starts work, he assumes every person must listen to him, and when he becomes a manager, he would never know the suffering of his employees and always blame others. These kinds of people, may/will achieve good results and may be successful for a while, but eventually would not feel a sense of achievement or satisfaction.

If we happen to be this kind of (protective) parent, this is the time to ask the question

- whether we did/do love our kids or destroy them.

-You can let your kid live in a big house, eat a good meal, learn to play the piano, watch a big screen TV but when you are cutting grass, please let them experience it.

-After a meal, let them wash their plate and bowl together with their brothers and sisters.

-It is not because you do not have money to hire a maid, but it is because you want to love and show them the correct way.

-You want them to understand that no matter how rich their parent are, one day they will grow old, become weak and that their hair too will grow grey!

-The most important thing is for your kid to learn how to appreciate, experience and learn the effort and ability needed to work with others to get things done. They should also value, appreciate what the parents have done and love them for who they are!

"Every sunrise delivers opportunities, While every sunset asks what we did with opportunities."

More Power Than We Can Imagine

2010-11-07T15:00:00.000-08:00

We touch the lives of others in ways we often never know. People sometimes come into our personal world for fleeting moments and can leave us forever changed. We have more power to create or to destroy than we can imagine. We can leave things or individuals better or worse than we found them.

-- Gail Pursell Elliott

HOW TO BE HAPPY

2010-10-26T15:14:00.000-07:00

How to BE Happy

Being authentically happy is not quite as straight forward as it may appear. There are three essential steps.

Step One is to ‘see’ and dispel the many myths and illusions about happiness. (The Mythology of Happiness)

Step Two is to explore the deeper meaning of happiness in order to induce and affirm three realizations.

Realisation One - That happiness is not something that comes from outside our self. Authentic happiness is not a dependency on anyone, anything or any place. Happiness is an inside job!

Realisation Two - That happiness is not excitement. Most of us learn to believe that our happiness is stimulated and so we search for the stimulation of our own favourite brand of happiness. If we have been doing this for a long time it’s not easy to break free of this habit as there is likely to be some form of addiction to something, someone or somewhere.

Realisation Three - That happiness is not an occasional high in contrast to an occasional low. Authentic happiness is not an up and down affair. It is a stable and consistent state which is only possible when the three forms of authentic happiness – contentment, joy and bliss - are fully understood.

And that of course is Step Three.

Authentic Happiness is Undisturbable CONTENTMENT

Contentment is only possible when we re-awaken the awareness that everything near and far in the world around us is exactly the way it is meant to be in this moment now, and that there is only this moment now.

Not so easy when we realize we have spent our entire life avoiding being fully present in this moment now. Avoiding the present is the ego’s way of killing our contentment by attempting to escape into the future or wallowing in the past.

Contentment is only possible when you are able to accept everyone as they are, at every moment, in every situation. That means an end to judging or resisting others, an end to complaining and blaming, an end to trying to change others and world events. Not so easy after a lifetime of armchair judgment, resistance and the rejecting of others.

That doesn’t mean just sitting back and doing nothing. It means the re-awakening and the acceptance of self-responsibility and seeing how self-responsibility is inextricably linked to world responsibility. In other words, it is only when we cease to project what we think and feel onto others and create actions aligned with what is true within our self that we can make the most effective contribution to the world.

And when others are seen to be NOT acting in alignment with what is true in them, our response is not one of judgment and condemnation (which kills our contentment), but one of compassion and understanding (which maintains our contentment).

Authentic Happiness as Unbridled JOY

Joy is only possible when our life energy (the self) flows out into the world, free of the desire for any part of the world to flow towards us. As creative beings our deepest joy is when we are being creative and when our creativity is aligned with the truth of ‘who’ we are (identity) and ‘what’ we are (nature). This is not so much to do with the limited creativity of painting and poetry etc., but the creation of our life. The purpose of life is not to ‘get a life’ but to create our life.

That means realizing that we are primarily designed to give of our self wholeheartedly at every moment. Not so easy when we realize how halfheartedly we may have ‘learned’ to live our life. Half-heartedness happens when we want something for our self. Half of your heart (which is you) is focused on bringing something, or someone to you, so only half is going out as giving. And half of that often carries a ‘condition’ with it. This creates an inner tension that becomes the ‘killjoy’ of most lives.

In truth, life (the self) is not designed to want anything. Life needs nothing, you need nothing. Your body needs food, shelter and clothing, but ‘you’ need nothing. If there is a need, it is to see and realize the ‘opportunity of living’ which is to give of our self, to give well, to give accurately and generously. That means ‘creating’ the most appropriate response to meet the needs of people and the world around you. When we do then there is the presence of authentic joy. A joyfulness that comes from inside out.

Some may say that to give give give is to be blind to those who would take advantage of our generosity and that it will make you more like a joyous fool than joy full. But they are likely to be still living from a belief system that says life ‘owes’ them.

One of the signs of the presence of joy is when the awareness of time passing recedes into the background. You stop looking at the clock. True joy can only be known beyond the consciousness of time, like the innocent universe of a child at play, before it learns that it has to be home in time for dinner… or else! Then it runs home not out of joy but out of fear.

Question: What or who do you ‘use’ to disturb your contentment and why?

Reflection: Assuming you didn’t use these situations/people to disturb your self what would you think, feel and do differently?

Action: Practice both the questions above at the end of every day this week.

C Mike George 2010

Edited extract from The 7 Myths of LOVE…Actually!

5 Ways to Wellbeing

2010-09-08T03:25:00.000-07:00

5 WAYS TO WELLBEING

1. Connect. Connect with the people around you. With family, friends, colleagues, and neighbours. At home, work, school or in your local community. Think of these as the cornerstones of your life and invest time in developing them. Building these connections will support and enrich you every day.

2. Be active. Go for a walk or run. Step outside. Cycle. Play a game. Garden. Dance. Exercising makes you feel good. Most importantly, discover a physical activity you enjoy and one that suits your level of mobility and fitness.

3. Take Notice. Be curious. Catch sight of the beautiful. Remark on the unusual. Notice the changing seasons. Savour the moment, whether you are walking to work, eating lunch or talking to friends. Be aware of the world around you and what you are feeling. Reflecting on your experience will help you appreciate what matters to you.

4. Keep Learning. Try something new. Rediscover an old interest. Sign up for that course. Take on a different responsibility at work. Fix a bike. Learn to play an instrument or how to cook your favourite food. Set a challenge you will enjoy achieving. Learning new things will make you more confident as well as being fun.

5. Give. Do something nice for a friend, or a stranger. Thank someone. Smile. Volunteer your time. Join a community group. Look out, as well as in. Seeing yourself, and your happiness, linked to the wider community can be incredibly rewarding and creates connections with the people around you.

Updating Bank Signature for Apex Club

2010-08-15T06:53:00.000-07:00

Updating Bank Signature for Apex Club

Each year at this time of the year, Clubs who has new key appointment holders change need to update their bank signatures.

7 of us went to our bank yesterday afternoon, Saturday, to has the signature change to the new appointment holders, ie President, Treasurer and Secretary.

The branch we went to at Vivo City opens 7 days a week till 7pm except for public holidays. It is not so good for the staff who were working but very convenient for their customers. But not every branches open 7 days a week. I remembered many years ago when I was the Treasurer, the bank opened 5 and a half days a week, I can only do it on Saturday morning went I am not working.

The process was also very smooth because we have the documents ready with us. They are the original AGM minutes and form for signature change. But it is important to note that the bank do not allow any cancellation on the form. Luckily, I was present, we amended the new mailing address on the form, and the bank manager allowed me to sign for the correction plus 2 other office bearers to sign. All the new appointment holders also need to be present at the bank with their ICs.

Forgot to Live

2010-07-21T19:07:00.000-07:00

7 Laws of Learning

2010-07-16T02:08:00.000-07:00

7 LAWS OF LEARNING

This article features seven laws or principles that turn knowledge sharing into growth:

1. We are all born to learn.
2. You never know when learning will occur.
3. You learn by connecting.
4. We all learn differently.
5. Connections come through story-telling.
6. Learning is both an emotional and intellectual experience.
7. Learning can change lives.

About My Mum 5 Jul 2010

2010-07-05T06:55:00.000-07:00

About my mum, 5 Jul 2010

Born on 2 Mar 1940, my mum is 70 years old this year. I am happy to see her each day when I come home. This is how she looks like in her room :

My mum use to tell me she will find her own program each day to keep herself occupied. This is good because both my wife and I need to work each day. During weekend, we are also busy with volunteer works.

Sometimes she will cook and forget about her cooking and continue watching TV and end up the food got burnt.

She will read Chinese newspaper each day. When it is my turn to read, the paper will be in a mess because she said this showed and proofed that she read the entire newspaper !

Just the other day, she said she has been reading some dharma books and being a Buddhist, she does not scold anyone. I responded to her saying : You do not scold people, xyz@*#! (I created some noise trying to mimic her scolding me). Immediately she said that if she did not scold me in the past, I will not become who I am today ! So, no matter what I said, my mum always got something to reply me.

She is alone at home most of the time, so I subscribe to Starhub cable vision so that she has more TV program to watch.

Those who parent who are still around, they should talk to their parent more often. This month, my mum is going to Japan with my godmother.

Some Happenning in June 2010 - Trip to a Special School in Batam

2010-06-29T15:42:00.000-07:00

SOME HAPPENNING IN JUNE 2010 - Trip to a Special School in Batam

I have not been writing for a while, so better continue with what I have been doing, ie some sharing.

On 12 Jun 2010, with the help from my friends, Collin Ng and Michael Tan, we took some 40 people to St Ignatius School at Batam island. We brought along with us a lot of goodies for the children there.

In the morning, we took the 9am ferry from Tanah Merah Ferry Terminal. Here are the program for the 2 days.

Day One, 12 June - Saturday

0800 hrs: Assemble at BatamFast check-in counter, Tanah Merah Ferry Terminal
0900 hrs: BatamFast ferry departs for Nongsapura Ferry Terminal
0845 hrs: Arrival at Nongsapura Ferry Terminal, proceed for immigration clearance
0900 hrs: Check-in to rooms (subject to room availability)
1100 hrs: Coach departs for St Ignatius School which takes about one and a half hour journey (coach may leave early)
1230 hrs: Arrival at the school and prepared lunch boxes to be consumed onboard coach while on the move
1600 hrs: At least 3 1/2 hrs at the school to mingle with the children and distribution of donated items, ready to depart
1730 hrs: Enroute, stopover at Barelang bridge and arrival at Batam View, refresh and ready for dinner (those not staying will take 1830 hrs ferry back)
1830 hrs: Seafood dinner at resort Kelong Restaurant followed by own leisure

Day Two, 13 June - Sunday

0800 hrs: Breakfast at Wangi Melati Coffee House
0930 hrs: Own activities (some may wish to charter transport to town)
1200 hrs: Buffet lunch at Wangi Melati Coffee House
1400 hrs: Late check-out
1530 hrs: Assemble at reception for transfer to ferry terminal
1620 hrs: BatamFast departs for Tanah Merah Ferry Terminal

Note: Time difference between SIN and Batam is one hour and we are one hour ahead of them.

The cost for this trip is S$150. Our volunteer, Mr Goh, was very kind to donate S$2000 for this trip of which S$1800 goes to upgrade the playground at the school.

Collin have downloaded some pictures and also written a short article of the trip on this blog,

http://stignatiusschool.blogspot.com/

What I like to share here are :

1. For the participants, I think they spent a memorable weekend at Batam. From playing with the children at the school to relax at Batam View Resort, enjoy the good food, Indonesian massage, singing at the KTV room, watch big screen World Cup match, shopping, etc.

2. For the children at the school, all should be happy as we brought with us lots of toys, stationary, cloths, shoes, sweets, chocolate, wafer, ballons, etc. We also taught them how to do the limbo rock, dance Macarana and played game with them. We have 2 entertainers who performed some magic and played games with the children.

Finally, Apex Club of Singapore (City) have completed another service project in overseas. I think we can make this a yearly event for the Club.

Apexian Yeo Chao Loy
President 2009/2010
Apex Club of Singapore (City)

Do Your Best

2010-05-25T18:14:00.000-07:00

DO YOUR BEST

“It is not enough to do your best; you must know what to do, and THEN do your best.”
- William Edwards Deming (1900 – 1993)

Yes, indeed. We will need to know what to do before we can do our best...this apply to anything.
William Edwards Deming

Dr. W. Edwards Deming is known as the father of the Japanese post-war industrial revival and was regarded by many as the leading quality guru in the United States.

The Happiest People

2010-05-14T16:03:00.000-07:00

The Happiest People

The happiest people I have known have been those who gave themselves no concern about their own souls, but did their uttermost to mitigate the miseries of others.

-- Elizabeth Cady Stanton (1815-1902)

Here are 5 things happy people do :

1. They find their most golden self
2. They design their lives to bring in joy
3. They avoid ‘if only’ fantasies

4. They put best friends first
5. They allow themselves to be happy

My Labour Day 1st May 2010

2010-04-30T21:34:00.000-07:00

My Labour Day, 1st May 2010

On the eve of Labour Day, my mum told me one of our toilet flushing system is leaking. The whole toilet floor is wet. I knew the rubber stopper of the flushing system has disintegrated.

On Labour Day, I went to the market to look for the part to replace. To my surprised, I found the rubber which cost only S$1. I bought the new rubber and the 10 minutes DIY job solved the water leaking problem.

Here are some photos to share. If you can do your own repair, it can save you time and money. Anyone need help in this area can let me know. As a Mechanical Engineer, I use to change my own taps and do minor repairs at home.

This is the S$1 rubber:

My recent trip to Malaysia - qing ming, Good Friday

2010-04-19T15:18:00.000-07:00

My recent trip to Malaysia - qing ming, Good Friday

Just to share on a recent trip I went to Malaysia from 1 Apr to 4 Apr 10. Four of us (Raymond & wife, me and my wife) drove to Batu Pahat to stay one night there, then continue to Kajang for another night before we head for Tampin. At Tampin, we spent a night there.

On 3 Apr 10 evening, as we were travelling to my friend house in Tampin, we saw wild boars crossing the road. My friend had to slow down the vehicle to let the wild boars cross the road. Just as he thought there is no more wild boar crossing and continue with the drive, there was a last wild boar came dashing cross us. Fortunately he is able to slow down to avoid hitting the wild boar.

We spent the last night at my friend house and then on 4 Apr 10, we went to a cemetry. One of the rare scene I saw was fire crackers and fireworks. The noise it produce is very loud, in Malaysia, this is 'boleh'. We then had a small makan session after the praying at the cemetry.

Finally, any of my friends who like to join me in future for such trips, just let me know. 4 of us spent about RM200 on petrol and toll. Stay is free because we are staying at friends' bangalow.

This is the house we stayed at Tampin.

Fireworks at the cemetry

About Change

2010-03-26T08:59:00.000-07:00

ABOUT CHANGE

Hasn't been writing for quite a while. I came across this article which I find it interesting.

"The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result"

- Albert Einstein

Albert Einstein's quote is the underlying philosophy of About Change. If we continue to think and behave in the same way we will continue to get the same results.

About Change works with people, families and teams who believe that things do need to change but may be unsure on how to do that. About Change offers:

Counselling

Mental skills training

Life balance

About Change works to ensure that individuals can achieve their goals in life, sport and business.

If nothing changes, nothing changes.

Is it About time for a Change?
--------------end of article-----------------
You and I have the ability to change. Sometimes it depend on the person and sometime it depends on what the person want to change or what make the person want to change. Whatever it is, the person can achieve it depending on the person determination and will power.

Yes You Can, Yes You Will

2010-02-16T06:15:00.000-08:00

Loving What Is

2010-02-05T16:38:00.000-08:00

LOVING WHAT IS

This Loving What Is book is written by Byron Katie with Stephen Mitchell. She shares 4 questions that can change your life. What are they ?

1. Is it true ?
2. Can you absolutely know that it's true ?
3. How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought ?
4. Who would you be without the thought ? Turn it around.

Worth reading.

Wallets

2010-01-30T19:41:00.000-08:00

Hi,

Ladies out there, if you like to find out more about handbags , etc, the #1 source for women is at :

http://www.bayareabags.com/

My 1st Experience Working on Operation Redshirt

2010-01-17T08:19:00.000-08:00

My First Experience Working on Operation Redshirt

It was a bright Sunday morning on 17 Jan 2010. I got up early and when for breakfast with my wife at the newly upgraded Telok Blangah Hawker Centre at around 8:30 am. I was there because of Operation Redshirt. About 100 of our Apex Club food recipients are receiving groceries and Hong Baos under the Operation Redshirt for the 1st time.

I was told the volunteers of Operation Redshirt will deliver groceries to Blk 5 Telok Blangah Crescent at 9:30 am on 17 Jan 2010. They will start the distribution at 10:15 am.

When I reached Blk 5 before 9:30 am, I saw a lorry and a lot of volunteers in Red Shirt were there unloading the groceries. Our own volunteers were also there to assist. They are Leslie, Joelle, Nicole, Sunny & wife, Rose, Michael and wife. This photo shows the groceries to be given away under this operation for the poor residents at Telok Blangah.

Operation Redshirt is very well organised after running it for 10 years. The advanced party team will deliver the packed groceries to the distributing point while the 2nd team giving out the groceries and deliver the groceries to the individual recipients are working at another location. By 10 am, the advanced party have completed their task and move on to another location while the 2nd team come and take over. After the advanced party completed their tasks, I had an opportunity to take a group photo with them.

The 2nd team arrive before 10:15 am to start the distribution and delivery. I met Peter Lim and have a chat with him. He is a very nice and friendly man with no 'air' at all. He is also a man who lead by example as you can see him in the photo in the queue with the rest of the volunteer from the 2nd team.

The head organiser, Cherie Lim, was also there supervising her volunteers. She and 5 other childhood friends started this project in year 2000. Today, the number has grown to 1,404 elderly poor in more than 10 locations. All have benefitted from this project. I am so happy to see so many people reaching out to help the poor in one way or another.

This Operation is also published in Straits Times on 16 Jan 2010 in page B6.

My First Mission Trip to Myanmar 5-12 Dec 09

2009-12-18T20:01:00.000-08:00

My First Mission Trip to Myanmar 5-12 Dec 09

I have been to other mission trip before with Apex Club of Singapore (City). First trip is to Batam to help build houses, then to Cambodia to give clothing, shoes, etc. Both were enriching but this trip is even much more enriching than my previous trips. We have quite a big group this time, a total of 51 participants and from young to old in age group.

In this trip I went with the Firefly Mission, we brought with us about 1,200 kg worth of things to give away. Just to list some of the things, they are :

1. Stationary for students and teachers

2. Sweets, choc wafer,balloons for kids

3. Axe oils for old folks

4. Hamper with daily-use stuff

5. Notebook, computer bags

6. Warm clothing and normal clothing, t-shirt, sweaters

7. Medicine

8. Bags, luggage

9. Fruit cakes

In Yangon, we visited :

1. Samiddhodayasukhitarama Daw Nanacari Myanaung Nunnery (100 nuns)

2. Khemma Rama Nunnery & Orphanage (250 students)

3. Hninzigone Home for the Elderly (300 elderly)

4. Zanbu AokShaung Nunnery Teching School with 130 students and 10 teachers

5. Shwe Minzu Nunnery Teaching School with 170 students and teachers

6. Vannasiri's Monastery and School with 100 students

In Kyaikto, we visited :

1. Zamburatana BCC with about 200 students and 100 orpanages

2. Naga Cave Monastery with 1200 monks and 200 nuns

In Bilin, we visited :

1. Bilin School & Community Project with 800 students and 20 teachers

2. Bilin Hospital

3. Shifu Hill Monastic School with 800 students and 10 teachers

4. Taungxun Monastic School with 350 students and 10 teachers

At Shwegyin, we visited :

1. Shwegyin Monastery

2. Shwegyin School with 400 students

3. Shwegyin Orphanages with 100 orphanages

Below is the website where you could access much of the photo taken by our official photographers Bro Goh & Sis Ai Lan

http://picasaweb.google.com/dhammafarer

Another URL below with photos :

http://www.flickr.com/photos/seng548/collections/72157622897151995/

My Feedback About This Trip

I felt that this is a well organised trip. Right from the registration, application of visa, briefing, packing, etc. It can be seen that Firefly Mission has a lot of experience is running such trip.

From this trip, I realised what some of the monks are doing in Myanmar is beyond what people precieved. They look after orphanages, help build schools, ensure kids have the right education and food, etc.

We also have a very good tour leader, Sister Shirley, who constantly lead in the daily morning chanting, gave Dharma talks, etc, which is helping to spread the Dharma. I can remembered she told us the following in Chinese below :

These 4 phrases are very meaningful. She also said that all good deeds, merits, charity, etc that we do are all in the 'bright' (visible). All the returns are in the 'dark' (not visible or unknowingly). In Chinese, it is :

Direct translation is : Whatever go is in the day, whatever come is in the night.

Every places we visited, we were so well received. Some even has "Lion Dance" to welcome us. All will offer a simple reception to us. A lot of time, we cannot finish the food and fruits they prepared for us. It just goes to show how much gratitude they have for us. I think most of us would like to go back again.

Overall, I am very happy to be part of the team in this trip. I can see and compare the children in our country and at the monastery in Myanmar. I can compare the old folks in our old age home and in their old age home. They are all very different. Those who have not go for such trip are strongly recommended to go at least once in their whole life time.

What Can Be Done Better ?

Medical Help. On hindsight, I felt that if we can get a medical doctor to accompany the team. It will be even better. Why I say that ? It can be seen from this trip that a number of participants fall sick during the trip. I guy another had minor injury while helping. As all these incidents are unforeseen, it is tedious to find a doctor out there like in Bilin and Shwegyin. To find a doctor at Bilin, Sister Shirley has to find a public phone to make a call as her mobile did not had any signal. Then the guy at the store had to accompany our bus to the nearby clinic and then catch a bus back to his store. If we have a doctor with us, it will be a lot easier and faster and maybe this doctor can also offer medical check-up for the students and people we visited. If we can have a doctor with us througout the trip, how about a dentist as well ?

Song. One of the participant told me that if we can come up with a more lively song where all can clap and song together, that would be even better. At least we prepared 2 songs this time. The 2 songs we prepared are belong to the slow and sentimental type. So this is something we can consider and prepare for future trips.

Remembering Names. During the trip, I had a hard time trying to remember so many new names. Out of 51 participants, I think more than half I have not met before. I think those who I have met for the first time also have problem remembering my name. One way to overcome this problem is everyone wear a name tag. This name tag is not expensive and it can be used for future trips and even during our local fund-raising projects.

Gifts. Finally, I felt that if we can give the children other things that they cannot afford, it will be better. Some of the things I can think of are watches and yo-yo. To buy them in Singapore can be expensive. But if someone can help to buy in bulk in China, that can help to bring down the cost.

My 3 C's for Happiness

2009-11-18T16:48:00.000-08:00

My 3 C’s for Happiness

Bobby McFerrin wrote a song called “Don’t Worry, Be Happy” back in 1988. This is how in goes :

Here’s a little song I wrote

You might want to sing it note for note

Don’t Worry, Be Happy

In every life we have some trouble

But when you worry you make it double

Don’t Worry, Be Happy

It gives me great pleasure to share with you my 3 C’s of Happiness.

1. Contentment

The 1st C for happiness is Contentment. The simple secret of being happy is :

not to have everything you want, but

to want everything that you have.

For example, how is it possible that a normal car I bought is more exciting to me that most cars that cost a lot more? The answer is that nothing has the power by itself to make us happy. The things that bring us joy do so only by virtue of the fact that we find them joyful. Happiness come from within, learn to cultivate inner beauty. It is our believe and we decide happiness ourselves. Happiness need not be pursued. It merely has to be embraced.

2. Charity

My second C for happiness is Charity. In Jun 2006, the 2nd richest man in the world, Warren Buffett, announced he will give away the bulk of his US$44 billion fortune to a foundation set up by the richest man in the world. I am sure they find happiness in deciding to focus on philanthropy.

I have a piggy bank for charity. Each morning before I leave home for work, I will drop a coin into the piggy bank. If one can start the day by giving, he or her unusually find the whole day will be smooth sailing. At the end of the month, I will count how much is in the piggy bank, the money will go to a charity organization.

By doing charity work, it enable us to lead a more fulfilling and inspiring life. Next month, I will be in Myanmar for missionary work. According to a research, the happiest person is the person most willing to help others. Not just helping those you know, it include those you do not know.

3. Clarity

My 3rd C for happiness is Clarity (in our communications).

“Eloquence is the power to translate a truth into language perfectly intelligible to the person to whom you speak.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

An American started Toastmasters International in 1924 and the movement has spread across the world. Worldwide there are about 9,000 Toastmasters Clubs and about 190,000 members. Today, more and more people also seek personal growth and development.

Clarity in our communications can bring forth a lot of happiness and prevent a lot of unhappiness. I still remember Chee Yen tell the story of a driving instructor who said : use the 2nd Law. But what he is trying to say is use the 2nd door, not 2nd Law.

Communications is from the Sender or speaker to the Receiver or listener. Both has been shaped in his or her thinking, feelings and behaviour by his or her upbringing, personality, religion, physical environment and culture. It goes through a number of functions, like words (7%), body language (55%), ie gestures, facial expression, eye-contact, tone of voice (38%), and many other signals and activities. All these are covered in Toastmasters. In Toastmasters, we can also learn the right pronunciation and enunciation. It can sparked a war between two countries just by one person through communication. If done correctly, it can bring happiness. So, be a Toastmasters.

Finally, happiness is said to be a by-product. No one is in charge of your happiness except you. I am a happy and optimistic person by nature. Try and follow the 3 C’s for Happiness, everyday can be a happy day.

Success is getting what you want,

Happiness is wanting what you get.

Clear Your Past

2009-11-04T14:31:00.000-08:00

CLEAR YOUR PAST...MAKE ROOM FOR BETTER THINGS TO COME

IT IS NECESSARY TO GET RID OF ALL THE USELESS THINGS IN YOU AND YOUR LIFE IN ORDER FOR PROSPERITY TO ARRIVE !!!

THE FORCE OF EMPTINESS IS ONE THAT WILL ABSORB AND ATTRACT
ALL THAT YOU WISH.

AS LONG AS YOU ARE MATERIALLY OR EMOTIONALLY HOLDING OLD AND USELESS FEELINGS YOU WON'T HAVE ROOM FOR NEW OPPORTUNITIES.

WE HAVE TO LET GO OF BAD HABITS, RESENTMENTS, SADNESS, FEAR, ANGER AND MORE . . . .

HOLDING ALL THESE NEGATIVE ENERGIES WILL ROB US OF OUR PROSPERITY IN LIFE.

Treasure Those Around You

2009-10-28T08:05:00.000-07:00

Touching Story worth sharing

4 years ago, an accident took my beloved away and very often I wonder, how

does my wife, who is now in the heavenly realm, feel right now? She must

be feeling extremely sad for leaving a husband who is incapable to taking

care of the house and the kid. 'cos that is the exact feeling that I have,

as I feel that I have fail to provide for the physical and emotional needs

of my kid, and failed to be the dad and mum for my kid.

There was one particular day, when i had an emergency at work. Hence, I

had to leave home whilst my child was still sleeping. So thinking that

there was still rice leftovers, I hastily cooked an egg and left after

informing my sleepy child.

With the double roles, I am often exhausted at work as well as when I am

home. So after a long day, I came home, totally drained of all energy. So

with just a brief hug and kiss for my child, I went straight into the

room, skipping dinner. However, when I jumped into my bed with intention

of just having a well-deserved sleep, all i heard and felt was broken

porcelain and warm liquid! I flipped open my blanket, and there lies the

source of the 'problem'... a broken bowl with instant noodles and a mess

on the bedsheet and blanket!

Boy, was I mad! I was so furious that I took a clothes hanger, charged

straight at my child who was happily playing with his toy, and give him a

good spanking! He merely cried but not asking for mercy, except a short

explanation:

"Dad, I was hungry and there wasnt anymore leftover rice. But you were not

back yet, hence I wanted to cook some instant noodles. But i remembered

you reminding me not to touch or use the gas stove without any adults

around, hence i turn on the shower and used the hot water from the

bathroom to cook the noodles. One is for you and the other is for me.

However, I was afraid that the noodles will turn cold, so I hid it under

the blanket to keep it warm till u return. But I forgot to remind you 'cos

I was playing with my toys...I am sorry Dad..."

At that moment, tears were starting to run down my cheeks...but I din want

my son to see his dad crying...so I dashed into the bathroom and cried

with the showerhead on to mask my cries....

After that episode, I went towards my son to give him a tight hug and

applied medication on him, while coaxing him to sleep. Then, it was time

to clear up the mess on the bed. When everything was done and well past

midnight, I passed my son's room, and saw that he was still crying, not

from the pain on his little buttock, but from looking at the photograph of

his beloved mummy....

A year has passed since the episode, I have tried, in this period, to

focus on giving him both the love of his dad and mum, and to attend to

most of his needs. And soon, he is turning seven, and will be graduating

from kindergarten. Fortunately, the incident did not leave a lasting

impression on his childhood memories and he is still happily growing up.

However, not so long ago, I hit my boy again, with much regrets. This

time, his kindergarten teacher called, informing me of my son's absence

from school. I took off early from work and went home, expecting him to

explain. But he wasnt to be found, so I went around our house, calling out

his name and eventually found him outside a stationery shop, happily

playing computer games. I was fuming, brought him home and whack the hell

out of him. He did not retaliate, except to say, 'I am sorry, Dad'. But

after much probing, I realized that it was a 'Talent Show' organized by

his school and the invite is for every student's mummy. And that was the

reason for his absence as he has no mummy.....

Few days after the caning, my son came home to tell me, the kindergarten

has recently taught him how to read and write. Since then, he has kept to

himself and stayed in his room to practise his writing, which I am sure,

would make my wife proud, if she was still around. 'cos he makes me proud

too!

Time passes by very quickly, and soon another year has passed. It's

winter, and its Christmas time. Everywhere the christmas spirit is in

every passer-by...x’mas carols and frantic shoppers....but alas, my son got

into another trouble. When I was about to knock off from the day's work,

the post office called. Due to the peak season, the post master was also

on an edgy mood. He called to tell me that my son has attempted to post

several letters with no addressee. Although I did make a promise never to

hit my son again, I couldn't help but to hit him as I feel that this child

of mine is really beyond control. Once again, as before, he apologized, '

I'm sorry, Dad' and no additional reason to explain. I pushed him towards

a corner, went to the post office to collect the letters with no addressee

and came home, and angrily questioned my son on his prank, during this

time of the year.

His answer, amidst his sobbing, was : The letters were for Mummy.

My eyes grew teary, but I tried to control my emotions and continued to

ask him: " But why did u post so many letters, at one time?" My son's

reply was: " I have been writing to mummy for a long time, but each time I

reach out for the post box, it was too high for me, hence I was not able

to post the letters. But recently, when I went back to the postbox, I

could reach it and I sent it all at once..."

After hearing this, I was lost. Lost at not knowing what to do, what to

say....

I told my son, " Son, mummy is in the heavenly kingdom, so in future, if

you have anything to tell her, just burn the letter and it will reach

mummy. My son, on hearing this, was much pacified and calm, and soon

after, he was sleeping soundly. On promising that I will burn the letters

on his behalf, I brought the letters outside, but couldnt help opening the

letter before they turn to ash.

And one of the letters broke my heart....

Dear Mummy,

I miss you so much! Today, there was a 'Talent Show' in school, and the

school invited all mothers for the show. But you are not around, so I did

not want to participate as well. I did not tell Dad about it as I was

afraid that Dad would start to cry and miss you all over again. Dad went

around looking for me, but in order to hide my sadness, I sat in front of

the computer and started playing games at one of the shops. Dad was

furious, and he couldnt help it but scolded and hit me, but I did not tell

him the real reason. Mummy, everyday I see Dad missing you and whenever he

think of you, he is so sad and often hide and cry in his room. I think we

both miss you very very much. Too much for our own good I think. But

Mummy, I am starting to forget your face. Can you please appear in my

dreams so that I can see your face and remember you? I heard that if you

fall asleep with the photograph of the person whom you miss, you will see

the person in your dreams. But mummy, why haven’t you appear?

After reading the letter, I cant stop sobbing. 'cos I can never replace

the irreplaceable gap left behind by my wife....

For the females with children:

Don't do so much overtime. If you cannot finish the work, it must be some

kind of problems within the company, and it is not your sole problem.

Feedback to your boss. Endless overtime may not necessary be the answer to

the problem. Take care of your health so that you can treasure and take

care of your little precious.

For the married men:

Drink less, smoke less, cos nothing can replace your good health, not even

business nor clients.

Try thinking this way, are you able to work till your clients are totally

dependent on you? or your boss is totally dependent on you? In this

society, no one is indispensable. Take care of your health, so that you can take care of your little precious and your loved ones.

For those singles out there:

Beauty lies in loving yourself first.

With confidence and loving yourself, you will see the beauty in other

things around you. You will be able to work better and happier. Don't let

your health be affected by your work or your boss, so nothing matters more

than your well being.

Have a Great Week ahead!

The 7 Wonders

2009-10-20T15:17:00.000-07:00

From Piya Tan

THE SEVEN WONDERS

(1) It’s a wonder, Even without eyes, to see what naked eyes see not:

Close your eyes to truly see.

The open eye often looks to the past.

Our heart opens the inner eye opens, and looks deep into another: as I am so you are; as you are, so am I.

(2) It’s a wonder, even without ears, to listen to what prying ears fail to hear:

Don't just hear, but listen long to the silence of the words, the stillness between the music.
For there can be no sense nor music without silence.
Above all, listen to your heart, yearning to be free.

(3) It’s a wonder, even without a nose, to smell what pointed noses fail to smell:

The true fragrance of love without walls, loving others as you would others love you. They pass us by, all looking for love, but not knowing how, till the heart smiles, and beats in your outstretched hand.

(4) It’s a wonder, even without a tongue, to taste what flat tongues fail to taste:

The taste of freedom in true goodness, flowing like gushing rivers down mountains and valleys into the mingling mighty ocean, where water is simply called water.

(5) It’s a wonder, even without a body, to feel what the sensual body feels not:
The joy of inner stillness, when the body has had its fill.
To be kindly aware of your own body is like coming home, a warm home that breathes every moment for you, till you are one with nirvana’s breath.

(6) It’s a wonder, even when troubled, to laugh at our sufferings and silliness,
and to teach others not to fall where you have fallen.
For, pain is our first teacher, and the last, before joy comes gently but firmly to hold our hands: We have never suffered really, only we have not looked hard enough.

(7) It’s a wonder, even when unloved, to show love to the unloving;
For, only in giving love, do you have love.
Even when the other does not requite your love, it is not your fault that one loves you not. For, a greater love awaits you, but whose time is yet to come.

Ask me not what these words mean;

For only your heart will tell you;

Look deep into the stillness there

For what words fail to say.

© Piya Tan 2009

My Mid-Autumn Festival

2009-10-12T15:37:00.000-07:00

My Mid-Autumn Festival on 3 Oct 09

I have not been writing for quite a while due to my commitment with volunteering works. Like in the past, every year during this period, my family will gather to celebrate the Mid-Autumn Festival.

This year, the gathering was held at my apartment. I catered buffet dinner for my family members, friends and relatives. I do not see my brother and sisters very often, but when come to festive seasons, birthday celebration and Mother's Day, we will meet each other.

Rain

The food came at 6:30pm that day. The sky is quite dark then, so we did not set up the buffet fully but leave the food under shelter near the poolside. By 7pm, the sky is clear and I decided to set up the buffet and warm up the food. Shortly after we set up the buffet, rain came. I moved one the big umbrella at the poolside to shelter the food hoping the rain will stop. By 7:30pm, the rain gets heavier. I activated my brother-in-laws and nephew to help to move the food to our driveway. Once this was done, all of us started having our dinner.

Rest of the Evening

All of us enjoyed having the buffet dinner. A lot of fried rice and mee goreng were left. The children were seen running around the carpark and poolside the whole night.

Have a nice day.

Givers & Takers

2009-09-06T06:13:00.000-07:00

GIVERS & TAKERS

Can you tell the difference between "Givers" and "Takers"? Yes, you can!

The Giver is the part of you that follows the rule: do whatever you can to make the other person happy and avoid anything that makes the other person unhappy, even if it makes you unhappy. It's the part of you that wants to make a difference in the lives of others, and it grows out of a basic instinct that we all share, a deep reservoir of love and concern for those around us.

The Taker is the part of you that follows the rule: do whatever you can to make yourself happy and avoid anything that makes yourself unhappy, even if it makes others unhappy. It's the part of you that wants the most out of life, and it grows out of your basic instinct for self-preservation.

The greater the degree to which one's final objective is to take or give, one can expect greater use of taking or giving behaviors. Taking behaviors will also be characterized by a greater use of power plays or other controlling behaviors including intimidation, interrogation, poor-me, and/or aloof-ness.

Not everyone gives or takes for the same reason. Instead, there are four basic combinations of "giver" and "taker" variables.

(1) Givers Who Give;
(2) Givers Who Take;
(3) Takers Who Give; and
(4) Takers Who Take.

Want to help ? Here's how ! Groceries With Heart

2009-08-29T22:48:00.000-07:00

Want To Help ? Here's how ! Groceries With Heart

Regular Giving

We are giving out groceries to the community on a regular basis. This 2-year program is called Groceries With Heart.

Where ?

We are giving groceries at 2 locations :

1. At the void deck of Blk 105 Jalan Bt Merah.

2. Shelter at Blk 5A Telok Blangah Crescent.

When and What time ?

From 24 Oct 09 onwards, on alternate Saturday, at 1:30 pm, we will be giving out groceries to the recipients mostly staying at 1-room flat.
This will continue for at least 2 years.

Who are the beneficiaries ?

The recipients are mostly under the Public Assistance scheme or ComCare scheme.

Queries ?

You can drop me a mail at ychaoloy@singnet.com.sg

or you can contact me at +65 9768 7549 if you have any queries.

We need volunteers and helpers to give groceries to the recipients and deliver groceries to those who are non ambulant.

Yours in Apex

Yeo Chao Loy

President 2009/2010

Apex Club of Singapore (City)

No One To Phone

2009-08-02T15:28:00.000-07:00

NO ONE TO PHONE

One afternoon after the death of her grandfather, Carol lay huddled on
her bed, sobbing forlornly. Her mother sat beside her and asked,
"What's the matter, honey?"

"I miss my grandpa, and I miss talking to him about my problems," the
girl said.

"I know, dear," sympathized her mother. "I miss him too. But can't you
talk to me?" Carol shook her head vehemently.

"Why not?" her mother persisted.

"Because you're what we talked about," sobbed Carol.

Children may not always confide in their parents. And adults may
choose not to confide in many of their friends and family. But it is
important to have someone with whom we can be emotionally intimate.

Tragically, it has been estimated that the majority of men, and many
women, have nobody they could phone at 2:00 in the morning if their
lives fall apart. They believe there is nobody who really wants to
hear from them in a crisis. Too many of us are utterly without close
and intimate friends.

The philosopher Goethe once observed, "The world is so empty if one
thinks only of mountains, rivers and cities; but to know someone here
and there who thinks and feels with us, and who, though distant, is
close to us in spirit, this makes the earth an inhabited garden."

Who can you be vulnerable with? Is the earth, for you, more like a
lonely desert or an inhabited garden? The difference may simply be in
whom you feel free to call at your most wounded moments. Do you have
such a person? And are you such a person for someone else?

As it has been said, "A friend is someone who knows the song in your
heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words."
If we are to find the kind of friend who knows the song in our hearts,
we must also BE that kind of friend. And since good friends take time
to grow, today is a good day to work on those friendships.

Attitude

2009-06-30T18:04:00.001-07:00

It is your attitude more than your aptitude that determines your altitude." -- Brian Tracy

Live Life Without Regrets

2009-06-24T14:54:00.000-07:00

"LIVE LIFE WITHOUT REGRETS"

"Life may not be the party we hoped for... but while we are here we might as well dance!"

Do you have any regrets, and if so why? Do you have more than one? If so this means you might be doing something not in joyful with your life.

Too many people put off something that brings them joy, or fail to see the opportunity to experience joy. They use reasoning like they haven't thought about it, don't have it on their schedule, didn't know it was coming or are too rigid to depart from their routine.

Because we cram so much into our lives, we tend to schedule our headaches. We live on a sparse diet of promises we make to ourselves when all the conditions are perfect!
Life has a way of accelerating as we get older. The days get shorter, and the list of promises we make to ourselves gets longer. One morning, we awaken, and all we have to show for our lives is a litany of "I'm going to," "I plan on," and "Someday, when things are settled down a bit." When you worry and hurry through your day, you are wasting your life, it is like an unopened gift....Thrown away....
Life is not a race from birth to the grave, so why hurry to get there? See the sky, feel the wind blow, hear the music before the song is over.

Why are you waiting? Now, right now, go on and have a nice day. Do something you WANT to do, not something on your SHOULD DO list.

Happiness is Here And Now

2009-06-12T17:59:00.000-07:00

Happiness is Here and Now

The great Western disease is, ‘I'll be happy when… When I get the money. When I get a BMW. When I get this job.’ Well, the reality is, you never get to when. The only way to find happiness is to understand that happiness is not out there. It's in here. And happiness is not next week. It's now.

-- Marshall Goldsmith

The People Around You

2009-06-07T06:43:00.000-07:00

THE PEOPLE AROUND YOU

The following event took place during a transantlantic flight on October 14, 1998.

A lady was seated next to a black gentleman.

The woman, visibly upset, asked the flight attendant to find another seat for her as she didn’t want to sit next to someone so unpleasant.

The flight attendant told her that the flight was quite full, but that she would check and see if there was room in first class.

The rest of the passengers watched the scene with shock and disgust, not only because this woman was so obnoxious and rude, but for the fact that she would actually be moved to first class.

The poor man felt terribly uncomfortable about this whole scene but was cordial enough not to react.

As tension in the cabin mounted, the lady seemed pleased with the fact that she may be moved to first class away from this person.

A few minutes later the flight attendant returned and informed the woman:
“Excuse me ma’am, the flight is indeed pretty full……Fortunately I found a seat available in first class.

“It took me a while because in order to make that change I had to get permission from the captain.

He told me that we shouldn’t force anyone to have to sit next to someone so unpleasant, and authorized the change right away.”

The other passengers couldn’t believe what they were hearing… and the woman, with a triumphant expression on her face, proceeded to get up from her seat.

Then the flight attendant turned towards the black man and said:

”Sir… would you be so kind as to follow me to your new seat in first class? On behalf of our airline, the captain offers you his apology for the fact that you had to put up with someone so unpleasant sitting next to you.”

All the passengers applauded and gave a standing ovation to the crew for handling the situation so well.

That year, the captain and the flight attendant were awarded for their actions on that flight. Due to this, the company realized they had not placed sufficient priority on costumer service training for their employees.

The Airline made immediate changes!

Since this event, in all of their offices and in clear sight of their personnel, the following message is posted:

“People may forget what you said to them. People may even forget what you did to them. But they will never forget the way you made them feel.”

“So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you.” Matthew 7:12

Life Book

2009-05-29T19:55:00.000-07:00

LIFE BOOK

Health:

1. Drink plenty of water

2. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar

3. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants, and eat less food that is manufactured in plants

4. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy

5. Make time for prayer

6. Play more games

7. Read more books than you did in the previous year

8. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day

9. Sleep for 7 hours

10. Take a 10-30 minutes walk every day ---- and while you walk, smile.

Personality:

11. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

12. Don't have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.

13. Don't over do ; keep your limits

14. Don't take yourself so seriously ; no one else does

15. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip

16. Dream more while you are awake

17. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

18. Forget issues of the past. Don't remind your partner with his/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.

19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don't hate others.

20. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present

21. No one is in charge of your happiness except you

22. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.

23. Smile and laugh more

24. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

Community:

25. Call your family often

26. Each day give something good to others

27. Forgive everyone for everything

28. Spend time with people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6

29. Try to make at least three people smile each day

30. What other people think of you is none of your business

31. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your family and friends will. Stay in touch.

Life:

32. Do the right things

33. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful

34. Your GOD or believes heals everything

35. However good or bad a situation is, it will change

36. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up

37. The best is yet to come

38. When you awake alive in the morning, thank for it

9. Your Inner most is always happy. So, be happy.

Last but not the least :

40. Do share this to everyone you care about.

8 Toxic Personalities to Avoid

2009-05-27T07:29:00.000-07:00

8 Toxic Personalities to Avoid

Although we like to think that the people in our lives are well-adjusted, happy, healthy minded individuals, we sometimes realize that it just isn't so. Personally, I've had moments where I'll be skipping through my day, happy as can be, thinking life is grand and BAM, I'll be blindsided by someone who manages to knock the happy wind out of my sails. Sometimes it is easy to write it off and other times, not so much.
Maybe you are a positive person, but when you are around a certain individual, you feel negative. Or, maybe you have an idealistic view of the world and when you are with certain people, you are made to feel silly, unrealistic or delusional. Or, maybe you pride yourself in being completely independent and in control of your life, but when you are around a certain family member, you regress into a state of childhood.
Some of these situations, and yes, these people, can have a tremendously negative impact on our lives. And, although we are all human and have our 'issues,' some 'issues' are quite frankly, toxic. They are toxic to our happiness. They are toxic to our mental outlook. They are toxic to our self-esteem. And they are toxic to our lives. They can suck the life out of us and even shorten our lifespan.
Here are the worst of the toxic personalities out there and how to spot them:
1. Manipulative Mary: These individuals are experts at manipulation tactics. Is a matter of fact, you may not even realize you have been manipulated until it is too late. These individuals figure out what your 'buttons' are, and push them to get what they want.
Why they are toxic: These people have a way of eating away at your belief system and self-esteem. They find ways to make you do things that you don't necessarily want to do and before you know it, you lose your sense of identity, your personal priorities and your ability to see the reality of the situation. The world all of a sudden becomes centered around their needs and their priorities.

2. Narcissistic Nancy: These people have an extreme sense of self-importance and believe that the world revolves around them. They are often not as sly as the Manipulative Marys of the world, but instead, tend to be a bit overt about getting their needs met. You often want to say to them "It isn't always about you."
Why they are toxic: They are solely focused on their needs, leaving your needs in the dust. You are left disappointed and unfulfilled. Further, they zap your energy by getting you to focus so much on them, that you have nothing left for yourself.

3. Debbie Downers: These people can't appreciate the positive in life. If you tell them that it is a beautiful day, they will tell you about the impending dreary forecast. If you tell them you aced a mid-term, they'll tell you about how difficult the final is going to be.
Why they are toxic: They take the joy out of everything. Your rosy outlook on life continues to get squashed with negativity. Before you know it, their negativity consumes you and you start looking at things with gray colored glasses yourself.

4. Judgmental Jims: When you see things as cute and quirky, they see things as strange and unattractive. If you find people's unique perspectives refreshing, they find them 'wrong'. If you like someone's eclectic taste, they find it 'disturbing' or 'bad'.
Why they are toxic: Judgmental people are much like Debbie Downers. In a world where freedom rings, judgment is sooo over. If the world was a homogeneous place, life would be pretty boring. Spending a lot of time with these types can inadvertently convert you into a judgmental person as well.

5. Dream Killing Keiths: Every time you have an idea, these people tell you why you can't do it. As you achieve, they try to pull you down. As you dream, they are the first to tell you it is impossible.
Why they are toxic: These people are stuck in what is instead of what could be. Further, these individuals eat away at your self-esteem and your belief in yourself. Progress and change can only occur from doing new things and innovating, dreaming the impossible and reaching for the stars.

6. Insincere Illissas: You never quite feel that these people are being sincere. You tell a funny story, they give you a polite laugh. You feel depressed and sad and they give you a 'there, there' type response. You tell them you are excited about something and you get a very ho-hum response.
Why they are toxic: People who aren't sincere or genuine build relationships on superficial criteria. This breeds shallow, meaningless relationships. When you are really in need of a friend, they won't be there. When you really need constructive criticism, they would rather tell you that you are great the way you are. When you need support, they would rather see you fail or make a fool of yourself.

7. Disrespectful Dannys: These people will say or do things at the most inappropriate times and in the most inappropriate ways. In essence, they are more subtle, grown up bullies. Maybe this person is a friend who you confided in and uses your secret against you. Maybe it is a family member who puts their busy-body nose into your affairs when it is none of their business. Or maybe, it is a colleague who says demeaning things to you.
Why they are toxic: These people have no sense of boundaries and don't respect your feelings or, for that matter, your privacy. These people will cause you to feel frustrated and disrespected.

8. Never Enough Nellies: You can never give enough to these people to make them happy. They take you for granted and have unrealistic expectations of you. They find ways to continually fault you and never take responsibility for anything themselves.
Why they are toxic: You will spend so much time trying to please them, that you will end up losing yourself in the process. They will require all of your time and energy, leaving you worn out and your own needs sacrificed.

All of these personalities have several things in common.
1) the more these people get away with their behavior, the more they will continue.
2) Unfortunately, most of these people don't see that what they do is wrong and as a result, talking to them about it will fall on deaf ears, leaving you wondering if you are the crazy one.
3) Most of these people get worse with age, making their impact on you stronger with time.
Frankly, life is too short to spend your time dealing with toxicity. If you can, avoid spending much time with people who are indicative of these behaviors and you'll feel a lot happier. Have you encountered these personalities? What have you done? Any personalities you would add?

Return of a Samaritan

2009-05-23T17:14:00.000-07:00

Return of a Samaritan

Brother Chan is a true Samaritan from Firefly Mission (FFM). Soon after Myanmar was hit by Cyclone Nargis about a year ago, Brother Chan started helping the casualties there who were affected by this natural disaster.

A lot of hard work has been put in to help the villagers to regain their confidence to live and help rebuild the place.

A number of padi fields, new schools, clinics, water systems, etc, were also built since last year. This photo is one the school just completed recently.

Yesterday, 23 May 09, at about 6:40pm, a few of us were at T1 to see the return of Brother Chan. Upon his arrival, he immediately pull out a photo of a newly built school to show us. We then proceed to a nearby Kopitiam to have dinner and have a short meeting and hear some update from him.

FFM was quite fortunate to receive quite a substantial amount of donation from the well-wishers from all over. A number of new schools, clinics, etc, have been built since the disaster hit the country. The latest update is that there should be funding left to build another 4 schools and a bridge.

For more information about FFM, go to :

http://www.fireflymission.org.sg/

Together... we light up the world

Vesak Day 2009 with Firefly Mission

2009-05-10T03:16:00.000-07:00

Vesak Day 2009 with Firefly Mission

On 9 May 09, I was at Kong Meng San Phor Kark See Monastery the whole day.

Firefly Mission (FFM) took up a booth at the temple this year as part of the celebration on Vesak Day. From 12 pm on 8 May 09, we can mann our stall there. Not only we can give out pamphlets to the public and put up tins for donation, we also have fresh orchid on sales at $2 each. This whole event ended at 4:30pm on 9 May 09 where we are asked to pack up our stall. Visit our web link below to know more about what we do in FFM.

http://www.fireflymission.org.sg/missions.html

In the above photo, you can see 4 of my friends from FFM also came to help on 9 May 09.

At the end of the whole event, we managed to raise over two thousand dollars. Another stall set up by Mercy Relief may raised even more than us because they have 4 big tins for public donation. Their volunteers carried them and stand along the passage way outside the pagoda. They approached every one who walk pass their stall for donation. Maybe we should try that if we have a stall next year.

One of my friend told me, a guy from the public asked him "Is there any risk for going those places to do our overseas project ?" As FFM go to Myanmar, Thai border, India, etc, I think there is no right or wrong answer to this question. Depending on how you look at it, I think every country we go will have a certain degree of risk even if it for holiday, otherwise, there is no need to by travel insurance. We never know what is going to happen when we travel. But I would say so far we have not encounter any problem and hope it will remain this way.

The Piece About Imperfectness and Satisfaction

2009-04-27T15:04:00.000-07:00

The piece about “Imperfectness” and “Satisfaction”

In this society that emphasizes on the packaging, we would sometimes inevitably envy other people’s good looks, and lament about our own imperfection.

But in fact there’s not a single person whose is perfect, Everyone has a lack of something.
Some couples are very loving, with handsome earnings, but they have their own problems.
Some people have the looks and talent, but could have a rough time in relationships.
Some people have lots of money, but they don’t have filial children or happiness.
Some people look to have a good life, but their brain could be empty all their life.

Everyone’s life has been designed with imperfections, You may not want it, but it will follow you.
I used to hate my imperfections, But now I have learnt to accept it with open arms.

The flaw in life is like a spike on our backs, reminding us to be humble and empathetic with others.

If there are no hardships, we will be complacent. If there are no sufferings, we cannot be compassionate and console those who are less fortunate.
Life cannot and can never be too perfect.
Having a crack, to let happiness flow to others, is a beautiful thing.

You don’t have to have everything.
If you have everything, what’s left for the others?
Also recognise that life has flaws, That you shall not compare yourself with others, Instead cherish what you already have.

So, don’t go around envying others, count the blessings that Heaven has bestowed upon you.
You will find that there are more things that you have, than things that you don’t have.

And what you do not have, although not lovable, is very much part of your life, Accept and appreciate it, and your life will be much happier.

How To Live A Better Life - Pope John XXIII

2009-04-12T05:43:00.001-07:00

HOW TO LIVE A BETTER LIFE - POPE JOHN XXIII

So here are ten tips from Pope John XXIII about how to live a better life, day to day:

1. Only for today, I will seek to live the livelong day positively without wishing to solve the problems of my life all at once.
2. Only for today, I will take the greatest care of my appearance: I will dress modestly; I will not raise my voice; I will be courteous in my behavior; I will not criticize anyone; I will not claim to improve or to discipline anyone except myself.
3. Only for today, I will be happy in the certainty that I was created to be happy, not only in the other world but also in this one.
4. Only for today, I will adapt to circumstances, without requiring all circumstances to be adapted to my own wishes.
5. Only for today, I will devote 10 minutes of my time to some good reading, remembering that just as food is necessary to the life of the body, so good reading is necessary to the life of the soul.
6. Only for today, I will do one good deed and not tell anyone about it.
7. Only for today, I will do at least one thing I do not like doing; and if my feelings are hurt, I will make sure that no one notices.
8. Only for today, I will make a plan for myself: I may not follow it to the letter, but I will make it. And I will be on guard against two evils: hastiness and indecision.
9. Only for today, I will firmly believe, despite appearances, that the good Providence of God cares for me as no one else who exists in this world.
10. Only for today, I will have no fears. In particular, I will not be afraid to enjoy what is beautiful and to believe in goodness. Indeed, for 12 hours I can certainly do what might cause me consternation were I to believe I had to do it all my life.

To conclude: here is an all-embracing resolution: “I want to be kind, today and always, to everyone.”
I’ve started to think more about kindness. I thought of it as an important but bland virtue (in the same class as reliability and dutifulness), but I suspect that I’ve been overlooking something very important. I was just reading Henry James, who echoed the sentiment above: “Three things in human life are important: The first is to be kind. The second is to be kind. And the third is to be kind.”

12 quick tips for boosting your happiness at work

2009-04-12T05:28:00.000-07:00

12 quick tips for boosting your happiness at work

- by Gretchen Rubin

Of course, being happy at work depends mostly on how much you like your job. But there are also smaller steps that can boost your happiness, as well -- partly by boosting your physical comfort and your productivity.

Some of these steps are VERY small, but the fact that you’re taking steps to improve your situation itself boosts happiness.

1. Check for eyestrain by putting your hand to your forehead in a salute. If your eyes feel relieved, your work space is too bright.
2. Sit up straight with your shoulders down — every time I adjust my sitting position, I instantly feel more energetic and cheerier.
3. Get a phone headset. I resisted for a long time, because it looks so preposterous, but it’s really much more comfortable. Also, it lets me pace while I talk on the phone, which also looks preposterous, but is energizing.
4. Don’t keep candy on your desk. Studies show that people are much more likely to snack when a treat is within easy reach, and a handful of M&Ms each day could mean a weight gain of five pounds by year’s end.
5. Never say “yes” on the phone; instead, say, “I’ll get back to you.” When you’re actually speaking to someone, the desire to be accommodating is very strong, and can lead you to say “yes” without enough consideration. Along the same lines…
6. When deciding whether to say “yes,” imagine that you’re accepting a job that you’ll have to do next week. Don’t agree to something just because it seems so far off that it doesn’t seem onerous.
7. Don’t let yourself get too hungry. My husband goes without eating for hours and hours at a time, so once, trying to be helpful, I bought him a big bag of granola to keep in his desk. He ate the whole bag in one day and ended up sick as a dog. Lesson: eat regularly.
8. Take care of difficult calls, tasks, or emails as quickly as possible. Procrastinating makes them harder; getting them done gives a big boost of relieved energy.
9. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, think hard about how you spend your time. Be honest. How much time do you spend surfing the internet, looking for things you’ve misplaced, or doing a task that’s really someone else’s job? Also…
10. Let yourself stay ignorant of things you don’t need to know.
11. Go outside at least once a day, and if possible, take a walk. The sunlight and activity is good for your focus, mood, and retention of information.
12. Say “Good morning” to everyone. Social contact is cheering, and if you feel that you’re on good terms with all the people in your office, you’ll be happier each day. Also, it’s polite.

Happiness (12 April 2009)

2009-04-12T05:02:00.000-07:00

HAPPINESS (12 April 2009)

Happiness is a feeling of ease, well-being and satisfaction and can range from mild to intense and be either momentary or enduring.

Happiness can be classified as :

- happiness of ownership

- hapiness of wealth

- happiness of freedom from debt

The sense of achievement, from excelling in one's chosen profession and making a good living out of it can make one very happy.

Happiness is reachable, no matter how long it last.

How To Live A Long And Happy Life ?

2009-04-04T02:00:00.000-07:00

How To Live A Long And Happy Life ?

My friend sent me this interesting article. I find that it will be a waste if I do not put it in my blog to share. Enjoy ....

At the age of 97 years and 4 months, Shigeaki Hinohara is one of the world's longest-serving physicians and educators. Hinohara's magic touch is legendary: Since 1941 he has been healing patients at St. Luke's International Hospital in Tokyo and teaching at St. Luke's College of Nursing. After World War II, he envisioned a world-class hospital and college springing from the ruins of Tokyo; thanks to his pioneering spirit and business savvy, the doctor turned these institutions into the nation's top medical facility and nursing school. Today he serves as chairman of the board of trustees at both organizations. Always willing to try new things, he has published around 150 books since his 75th birthday, including one "Living Long, Living Good" that has sold more than 1.2 million copies. As the founder of the New Elderly Movement, Hinohara encourages others to live a long and happy life, a quest in which no role model is better than the doctor himself.

Doctor Shigeaki Hinohara JUDIT KAWAGUCHI PHOTO

Energy comes from feeling good, not from eating well or sleeping a lot. We all remember how as children, when we were having fun, we often forgot to eat or sleep. I believe that we can keep that attitude as adults, too. It's best not to tire the body with too many rules such as lunchtime and bedtime.
All people who live long regardless of nationality, race or gender share one thing in common: None are overweight...

For breakfast I drink coffee, a glass of milk and some orange juice with a tablespoon of olive oil in it. Olive oil is great for the arteries and keeps my skin healthy. Lunch is milk and a few cookies, or nothing when I am too busy to eat. I never get hungry because I focus on my work. Dinner is veggies, a bit of fish and rice, and, twice a week, 100 grams of lean meat.
Always plan ahead. My schedule book is already full until 2014, with lectures and my usual hospital work. In 2016 I'll have some fun, though: I plan to attend the Tokyo Olympics!

There is no need to ever retire, but if one must, it should be a lot later than 65. The current retirement age was set at 65 half a century ago, when the average life-expectancy in Japan was 68 years and only 125 Japanese were over 100 years old. Today, Japanese women live to be around 86 and men 80, and we have 36,000 centenarians in our country. In 20 years we will have about 50,000 people over the age of 100...

Share what you know. I give 150 lectures a year, some for 100 elementary-school children, others for 4,500 business people. I usually speak for 60 to 90 minutes, standing, to stay strong.

When a doctor recommends you take a test or have some surgery, ask whether the doctor would suggest that his or her spouse or children go through such a procedure. Contrary to popular belief, doctors can't cure everyone. So why cause unnecessary pain with surgery I think music and animal therapy can help more than most doctors imagine.

To stay healthy, always take the stairs and carry your own stuff. I take two stairs at a time, to get my muscles moving.

My inspiration is Robert Browning's poem "Abt Vogler." My father used to read it to me. It encourages us to make big art, not small scribbles. It says to try to draw a circle so huge that there is no way we can finish it while we are alive. All we see is an arch; the rest is beyond our vision but it is there in the distance.

Pain is mysterious, and having fun is the best way to forget it. If a child has a toothache, and you start playing a game together, he or she immediately forgets the pain. Hospitals must cater to the basic need of patients: We all want to have fun. At St. Luke's we have music and animal therapies, and art classes.

Don't be crazy about amassing material things. Remember: You don't know when your number is up, and you can't take it with you to the next place.

Hospitals must be designed and prepared for major disasters, and they must accept every patient who appears at their doors. We designed St. Luke's so we can operate anywhere: in the basement, in the corridors, in the chapel. Most people thought I was crazy to prepare for a catastrophe, but on March 20, 1995, I was unfortunately proven right when members of the Aum Shinrikyu religious cult launched a terrorist attack in the Tokyo subway. We accepted 740 victims and in two hours figured out that it was sarin gas that had hit them. Sadly we lost one person, but we saved 739 lives.

Science alone can't cure or help people. Science lumps us all together, but illness is individual. Each person is unique, and diseases are connected to their hearts. To know the illness and help people, we need liberal and visual arts, not just medical ones.

Life is filled with incidents. On March 31, 1970, when I was 59 years old, I boarded the Yodogo, a flight from Tokyo to Fukuoka. It was a beautiful sunny morning, and as Mount Fuji came into sight, the plane was hijacked by the Japanese Communist League-Red Army Faction. I spent the next four days handcuffed to my seat in 40-degree heat. As a doctor, I looked at it all as an experiment and was amazed at how the body slowed down in a crisis.
Find a role model and aim to achieve even more than they could ever do. My father went to the United States in 1900 to study at DukeUniversity in North Carolina. He was a pioneer and one of my heroes. Later I found a few more life guides, and when I am stuck, I ask myself how they would deal with the problem..

It's wonderful to live long. Until one is 60 years old, it is easy to work for one's family and to achieve one's goals. But in our later years, we should strive to contribute to society. Since the age of 65, I have worked as a volunteer. I still put in 18 hours seven days a week and love every minute of it.

Have Faith In Yourself

2009-03-30T14:56:00.000-07:00

HAVE FAITH IN YOURSELF

Firstly, I like to thank you for visiting my blog. My visitors have hit a record high last week, ie I have a total of 52 visitors last week. This make me wanting to write more frequently and share more.

Many years ago when I was still a boy, I still can remember a friend of mine once asked me : when then you can say it is faith ? The answer from him is after it has happened.

In these tough economic times, we need to rethink, re-evaluate and retune our financial blueprint to stay on course to maintain our worldly responsibilities. Practicing the principles of abundance and prosperity bridges both the inner and outer worlds while handling our day-to-day lives from a place of fullness and gratitude.

In times of fear, we tend to forget that the inner creates the outer. It is so normal in our society to look outside ourselves for so many things. And when we hear fearful things going on in the world around us it is easy to get caught up in it. It is so easy to give in to the fear that so many are holding.

In life, there are always undesirable things. Perhaps a person who feels things are not going as well as they could will feel better if they change their point of view and see things from another perspective.

Perhaps this message will bring fresh new ways of thinking to everyone. Perhaps everyone can appreciate and be thankful for each beautiful day that follows.

Life is the continual demonstration of the power of thinking positive and having faith. Believe in yourself. Never lose faith.

Nature Of Your Destiny

2009-03-23T15:10:00.000-07:00

The Nature of Your Destiny

It is seldom noticed that we have two destinies in life, and while both are inextricably linked, one is fixed and the other is flexible. One is temporary and the other is always permanent. One is based in the world ‘out there’ while the other is already set in ‘your’ world in the ‘in here’.

For most people destiny is a mysterious and often mystical notion that is pregnant with possibility. While many consult astrologers and clairvoyants, others gaze into crystal balls or turn a deck of cards with the most bizarre images, all seeking a glimpse of what the future may bring. Some will speculate on the configuration of the lines on the palms of their hands, while others will read their future fortune from leaves at the bottom of their tea cup. But this fascination with fate only strengthens the illusion that our destiny is in the hands of others and is shaped by random events and unseen forces. This is the first of three errors that we make around the notion of personal destiny.

The second error is to think that our destiny is only an ‘outer condition’ defined by location, wealth and relationships. It isn’t, and that’s because our primary reality, as we have been exploring these last few weeks, is the universe within, our consciousness. And in this reality our destiny is fixed and cannot be altered in any way. But it won’t show up in your tea leaves!
The third error is to project destiny into some future moment of arrival at ‘the destination’. In truth there is no arrival simply because we/you/I i.e. the self, never actually goes anywhere in the real world of our consciousness. We may take our vehicle i.e. our body, for journeys around the three dimensions of the world out there, but you/I/we will remain absolutely stationary at the wheel, otherwise known as the ‘throne of consciousness’. No harm in enjoying the passing scenery, referred to as life on planet earth, but believing we are a part of the scenery is a grave error that may take our vehicle to an early grave … so to speak!

It is these three errors of understanding that serve to induce the feeling that we are victims of circumstances, enslaved today to what we desire to acquire tomorrow, and trapped in an idealistic notion of what our destiny ‘could’ be like. All compounded by the feeling we have no control on how our life will unfold. It all results in ‘absence’, as we become busy in our imagination, speculating about some distant future, so that we are seldom fully present in the moment now.

Curiosity and hope lie at the heart of the question, “I wonder what my destiny is/will be”? But they only signify that misery is present at worst, or quiet desperation at best. Or a sense that our life is not making sense… somewhere in the middle.
So let’s do destiny!

One Self Two Destinies As you look out at the immediate world around you right now you will see your ‘destiny of today’ in the world. Where you are, who is in your life, what you are doing and even your personality, are all aspects of your ‘destiny of today’. In essence your decisions yesterday determine your destiny of today. The ‘creative process’ reminds us that there is no such thing as random fate but that your destiny in the world is your creation and therefore in your hands. Thoughts trigger feelings and sometimes the other way round, but both will shape and be shaped by your decisions. Thoughts feelings and decisions will define your attitude and altogether they shape your action as behavior. And behavior is an ‘expression’ which will shape relationships and therefore circumstances. We are all 100% responsible for this process by which we create our responses. And the outcomes in our life are dependent on our responses to events. It’s not winning the lottery that defines your destiny, it’s what you do with the money, and how you deal with the attention it attracts, that will shape your future.

All of which raises the question, “What is informing our decision making?” Is it the beliefs we have learned or the wisdom that we have cultivated? For most people it’s their learned beliefs and consequent experiences which automatically inform their decision making. It’s now easy to see how a ‘learned belief’ that if we spend money that we have not yet earned it is likely to result in a destiny that for some borders on destitution. It’s now easy to see that a collectively inherited belief that nature will supply unlimited energy is likely to result in a slightly damp environment for millions of people in the future. It’s easy to see the connections between belief and destiny when we blindly believe that our inner happiness can only be stimulated by some external sources. As a result each new generation becomes more agitated and addicted than the last. Just a few of the illusions we allow to inform our decisions and therefore shape our destiny. We all carry hundreds of such beliefs but tend to remain asleep to their influence on our decisions and directions.

This is why if we are to restore our destiny in the world to our own enlightened hands it is rather important we break our blind acceptance of what we are taught and question absolutely everything. Not in a frenzy of frustrated doubting, or even just the desire to ensure our own desires are fulfilled, but out of recognition that only the truth can generate the wisdom to shape the decisions and actions that will create a destiny that brings benefit to all. Because one thing is for sure in the world ‘out there’, our individual destiny cannot be separated from the collective. Seriously asking and enquiring into what is meant exactly by ‘brings benefit to all’ is as good a place as any to begin an earnest conversation.

Answers to such questions do not come easily to intellects that have grown accustomed to receiving and accepting the beliefs of others. Our intellects have atrophied, having done little such inner work, and now tend to be a little lazy and somewhat fuzzy. Until the value is seen of a clear and discerning intellect, able to generate and use wisdom to inform our decision making, we will always feel that our future fortune is at the mercy of others. Even though we may ‘appear’ to be making our own decisions there is the subtle and gnawing underlying feeling that they are being hijacked by a programmed set of inherited beliefs, some of which we intuitively sense cannot be true. Awakening, strengthening and refining our intellect in order to see this clearly for our self is the domain of meditation, contemplation and reflection. These three ‘inner exercises’ are in themselves wisdom in action, but only once their value is realised.
If you do spend such quality time on cultivating your wisdom from inside out you will begin to rediscover a universe where your destiny is fixed and immutable. This is the territory of your nature. The plant and animal kingdoms of the natural world around us have no concerns about their destiny. They largely live by their nature from day to day and moment to moment. We do the same when we are reconnected with our true nature as human beings. When we know our self as beings of peace, at peace with ourselves and the world, when we know ourselves as sources of love, with the intention to connect harmoniously with others, when we know our self as a joyful being, allowing that joy unobstructed passage from our heart to the world, we are being our natural self, we are residing in our true nature. That’s when all thoughts of what our future may hold become irrelevant. It is this truth of our nature, the fixed, immutable and unstealable attributes of our natural inner state, which then supply the wisdom to create the quality of decisions that meet events in the world in the right way, at the right time. Only then can we watch our own wisdom overpower our inherited beliefs. Only then can we see how our awareness of our true nature will affect and reflect in the outer circumstances of our life.
Living naturally, living according to our nature begins when we use the power of our peace wisely, staying calm and stable when all around us panic and worry. Only then can we use the power of our love wisely, being of service to others when most others are focused only on personal survival. Only then can we use the infectious power of our joy wisely, lifting the spirits of others in their sadness and sorrow. Such is the power of our true nature, which we can never lose, because we cannot lose our self. There is only a temporary loss of self awareness.
Restoring our awareness of our true nature requires three realisations. First, that our nature cannot be found ‘in’ the world or acquired ‘from’ the world. Love, peace and joy lie not in our material surroundings. They lie only at the core of our being. Only then can our meditations and contemplations induce the second realisation that such attributes of the self are not one dimensional states, but multidimensional and multifaceted, with many applications. And then there will come a moment when we realise that it is how we apply our natural inner resources to the creation of our responses ‘to’ the world that will shape our destiny ‘in’ the world. Notice how the kind, the compassionate and the selfless easily attract to themselves rewards that are not sought. Notice your own level of contentment when you use your own nature in such wise ways.
When we know our nature as stillness in a moving world, as silence in a noisy world, as love in a fear filled world, then our nature is able to bring light into an endarkened world. When we know our true nature, the mystery of our destiny disappears, speculation ends and hope becomes a stranger in the presence of a growing wisdom. When we know the true nature of our self we will know the exact nature of our destiny. This is why nature is destiny.
All that remains is to remove what is unreal between you and your nature.

Question: What does it mean exactly ‘to know your nature is to know your destiny’ (make some notes).

Reflection: ‘Your fate is your destiny and there is no such thing as luck’ – discuss with your self!

Action: Look for signs this week for the connections between your decisions yesterday and your destiny of today and between your decisions today and your destiny of tomorrow.

No More If I Had Only Known ...

2009-03-14T21:22:00.000-07:00

No More If I Had Only Known .....

I came across this song "If I Had Only Known..." by Reba McEntire. You can hear it in YouTube. Here is the lyrics :

If I had only known it was our last walk in the rain
I'd keep keep you out for hours in the storm
I would hold your hand, like a lifeline to my heart
And underneath the thunder we'd be warm
If I had only known it was our last walk in the rain

If I had only known I'd never hear your voice again
I'd memorize each thing you ever said
And on these lonely nights, I could think of them once more
And keep your words alive inside my head
If I had only known I'd never hear your voice again

You were the treasure in my heart
You were the one who always stood beside me
So unaware, I foolishly believed that you would always be there
But then there came a day when I closed my eyes
And you slipped away

If I had only known it was my last night by your side
I'd pray a miracle would stop the dawn
And when you smiled at me, I would look into your eyes
And make sure you know my love for you goes on and on
If I had only known, the love I would've shown.

The words are so meaningful and touching. Why it has to be If I Had Only Known ? Take away the "If".

Recently, my mother told me one of her friend, her daughter give her $800 every month. I have been giving my mother $600 every month. So from this month onwards, I give her $800. My father already not around for many years, should be 1986 as far as I can remember. My mother is already 69 this year. If I can make her happy now, why not do so instead of later "If I Had Only Known....."

Today I Will Make A Difference

2009-03-08T01:21:00.000-08:00

Today I Will Make A Difference

I find this article interesting, it is worth your reading.

Today, I will make a difference. I will begin by controlling my thoughts. A person is the product of his thoughts. I want to be happy and hopeful. Therefore, I will have thoughts that are happy and hopeful. I refuse to be victimized by my circumstances. I will not let petty inconveniences such as stoplights, long lines, and traffic jams be my masters. I will avoid negativism and gossip. Optimism will be my companion, and victory will be my hallmark. Today, I will make a difference.

I will spend time with those I love. My spouse, my children, my family, etc. A man can own the worldbut be poor for the lack of love. A man can own nothing and yet be wealthy in relationships. Today I will spend at least 5 minutes with the significant people in my world. Five quality minutes of talking or hugging or thanking or listening. Five undiluted minutes with my mate, children, and friends.

by Max Lucado

from "On The Anvil"

The above words in Chinese is interesting also. I saw it when I was in Kelantan in Oct 2008. It says :

1. For emergency thing, say it slowly.

2. For big thing, say it clearly.

3. No confidence thing, say it carefully.

4. Never happen thing, do not any how say.

5. Thing you cannot deliver, do not any how say.

6. Thing that can hurt others, do not say as you wish.

7. Thing you do not like, do not tell others.

8. Happy thing, say at the right place.

9. Sad thing, do not see people only just tell.

10. Thing that are about others, say it with care.

11. Your own thing, say it with your own heart.

12. Thing that is not over or done, say it after you have done it.

What Is Happenning to our World ?

2009-03-04T16:50:00.000-08:00

What Is Happenning To Our World ?

I attended a talk on the above topic by a renown molk, Ajahn Brahm, last night. The above is the topic he talked on.

The hall was pack with people of all walks of life and as usual, he will share a lot of interesting stories that relate to our life. It is a one hour talk and one hour Q&A.

I just want to say in brief, based on what I can recall, the following :

He said at this time of the year and he sees the numberous disaster happening over the past few years, we should :

1. Just stay positive.

2. Take it as a form of fertilizer.

3. Have lots of greed for love, compassion, peace and forgiving.

Ultimate Measure of a Person

2009-02-25T14:58:00.000-08:00

Ultimate Measure Of A Person

The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.

-- Martin Luther King, Jr. (1929-1968)

The Law of Seed

2009-02-16T05:40:00.000-08:00

This is a very good piece of thought.
Read carefully and relate it to your life.

The Law of the Seed

Take a look at an apple tree. There might be five hundred apples on the tree and each apple has ten seeds. That's a lot of seeds!
We might ask, "Why would you need so many seeds to grow just a fewmore apple trees?"
Nature has something to teach us here.
It's telling us: “Not all seeds grow. In life, most seeds never grow”.
So if you really want to make something happen, you had better try more than once."
This might mean:

You'll attend twenty interviews to get one job. You'll interview forty people to find one good employee.
You'll talk to fifty people to sell one house, one car, one vacuum cleaner, one insurance policy, or a business idea.
And you might meet a hundred acquaintances just to find one special friend.

When we understand the "Law of the Seed", we don't get so disappointed.
We stop feeling like victims.
We learn how to deal with things that happen to us.
Laws of nature are not things to take personally.

We just need to understand them - and work with them.

IN A NUTSHELL :

Successful people fail more often. But they plant more seeds.
When things are beyond your control, here's something that you must NOT DO so as to avoid misery in your life:

- You must not decide how you think the world SHOULD be.

- You must not make rules for how everyone SHOULD behave.

- Then, when the world doesn't obey your rules, you get angry!

- That's what miserable people do!

On the other hand, let's say you expect that:

-Friends SHOULD return favours.-People SHOULD appreciate you.

-Planes SHOULD arrive on time.-Everyone SHOULD be honest.

- Your husband or best friend SHOULD remember your birthday.

These expectations may sound reasonable. But often, these things won't happen!

So you end up frustrated and disappointed.
There's a better strategy:

Demand less, and instead, have preferences!
For things that are beyond your control, tell yourself:
"I would prefer this, but if that happens, it’s OK too!"
This is really a change in mindset. It is a shift in attitude, and it gives you more peace of mind ...
You prefer that people are polite ... but when they are rude, it doesn't ruin your day. You prefer sunshine ... but if it rains, it is ok too!
To become happier, we either need to:

a) Change the world, or

b) Change our thinking.

It is easier to change our Thinking!

IN A NUTSHELL

It is not the problem that is the issue, but rather it is your attitude attending to the problem that is the problem.
It's not what happens to you that determines your happiness.

It's how you think about what happens to you!

My Valentine's Day 2009 (Singapore)

2009-02-14T05:42:00.000-08:00

My Valentine's Day 2009 (Singapore)

(photo of Raymond and wife)

Like in the past, on Valentine's Day, I will arrange to have dinner with my wife and some of my friends.

This year, even it is on a Saturday, but we only have 3 couples together. Some of my friends are overseas and some not available. In the past, we usually have at least 5 couples.

(photo of Boon Jin anf wife)

Something new for me this year is that we had dinner at a Vegetarian Restaurant at Lorong 27, Geylang Road. The name of the restaurant is YES Natural and the food is also organic. It was recommended by my friend, Raymond Ong.

All of us like the food being served. After taking meat nearly everyday for dinner, it is good to have a change of food. I also find a set dinner for 6 at S$138 is quite reasonable.

Finally, I think Valentine's Day is a day to show our love ones, parents, friends, etc, we love them. Get them a gift or buy them a meal, it will sure make them happy.

About Love

2009-02-10T14:16:00.000-08:00

About Love

I am not sure exactly what heaven will be like, but I don't know that when we die and it comes time for God to judge us, he will NOT ask,

How many good things have you done in your life?, rather he will ask,

How much LOVE did you put into what you did?

-- Mother Teresa

Change Your Perspectives

2009-02-04T14:16:00.000-08:00

Now a days, nearly everyday when you read the papers, you see news of companies closing down their plants and retrenching staff. What was written below is that "The worst it could be is to become bankrupt". Well, just last Saturday, we are still able to get sponsor for food and hong baos (cash). Each recipients at Jln Bt Merah get about S$35 worth of things and cash. So it is not that bad. Usually during Chinese New Year period, we get more sponsors.

I came across the below article from Edmund Ng and find it interesting. Read on :

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>>> Change Your Perspectives <<<

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You need to see things in a different light. In this crisis, people who see things differently will see it as an opportunity. As I always tells my clients and students in my workshops. Never assume. The main difference between an online marketer and an offline marketer is that we don't assume. We try to use tools to find out what people are searching from Search Engines before we decide on the products and services we want to target. I will just go straight to the point and tell you what the market is looking for right now. Things that will help reduce cost (Cost of materials, Cost of Production), improve efficiency and ways that would help to increase revenue. In case you don't get it, the shipping & logistics industry is going through a bad patch right now. I've been told that freight charges that used to cost $23 per ton cost something like $1.50, almost more than a 90% reduction. The cranes in the ports are all pointing towards the sky as they have no containers to process and lift up. Empty ships are left hanging at the docks. It's almost like a dead port with minimal activities. Soon the crane operators would probably be asked to go on a 3-4 day work week.

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>>> You Are The Result Of What You Did Previously<<< ****************************************************

I know that by now some of you guys would be grumbling about how unlucky you were to be in your current job. Oil executives that used to had their sharksfin mouth rinsing rituals had stopped doing that with oil prices dropping to record lows of 40.30 USD per barrel. Of course the upmarket restaurants are being hit badly as well. Guess what, you are to blame. Why You? Simple. You chose to be in your current job. If you are successful in your current job, it's because you worked hard academically and became a banker, lawyer or doctor. It didn't happened by chance. However, if you're really screwed up right now, it is probably that you were not listening or paying attention to what is happening throughout the world. Or you might not have received e-mails like this or have friends like me who constantly enjoy educating people even when there will always be some losers who accuses me of spamming them. Are you ready for the remedy, here it goes. Please give yourself a chance by reading further.

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>>> Taking Control Of Your Destiny <<< **************************************

Stop getting worried about retrenchments. Sometimes, it might be a good thing. It's time you control your life by probably running your own business. Let me give you a good example. Sometime back, I was watching a documentary in Singapore about how a chef who was working in Mandarin Hotel's chatterbox was laid off. If I'm not wrong the chef's name was Kiang Joon Toh. He's around 50 years old and had worked in Singapore's No.1 and most expensive Chicken Rice joint for almost 30 years. Despite his enormous experience, he was told that he was surplus to requirements and was given a golden handshake. Not perturbed by that he decided to use the money given to him to start his own "Sergeant Chicken Rice" stall. It was tough initially but with the help of his wife who quit her full time job and some family members, he was able to turn his business around and build up a successful brand name. His motto was kind of like 1st Class Chicken Rice at Food Court pricing. Of course, he understood that leveraging on the 'Chatterbox' brand was way too powerful as many overseas visitors make it their first choice destination for Chicken Rice when they visited Singapore. This is just one example of how a different perspective created an almost fairytale success. If you really understand the fact that 'You are the result of what you did previously', you will know that in order to turn your life around you need to start planning what to do and work hard at it so that over the next 6 months or 1 year, you could think back and tell yourself you need to buy Edmund a good dinner for his e-mails. That said, don't give yourself too much pressure. For those who are having credit card problems, please stop using them and take public transport if possible. Try to free yourself some time to pick up new skills that will help you make passive income. Avoid taking up 2-3 part time jobs as you'll be risking your health and it's not worth it. Trust me. That is my advice for my friend Johnny who works almost 18 hours a day doubling up as a security guard at night. The reason is simple. When you are working, you are trading your time for money. More importantly, when you do low level stuffs (things that don't require much thought), chances is that your returns are also miserable. The reason why I'm always encouraging people to start their own business is that when you really hit it, the returns are exponential when you could only hope for a 5-7% increment year on year. Here comes another group of people I'm worried about. Those who have speculated or retrenched for a long period of time that your house would anytime be repossessed. Don't worry, just be optimistic. The worst you could be is a bankrupt. If someone like Nanz Chong who screwed up badly having lost millions can write a book and teach people something, you could do the same or better. I don't claim to be the guru that can help people make millions but as long people learn something that can change their lives, I'm happy. Remember me as the Duru. I whip people into taking action. Only by doing will change take place.

==> http://www.internet-empire.com/special-testimonial.htm
I hope you've enjoyed this article. I've got to end here because I have to catch a plane to Indonesia tomorrow.

P.S. - We came with nothing, so if you're really bankrupt or on the verge of being bankrupt just remember you're the cause of it. You could jump out of it by just follow some of my advice diligently.
P.P.S. - I'm going to warn you that something very bad will happen before 20th Jul 09 that would send the whole world in panic. If there's a time to take action, this is the time. Trust me, when it happens, a lot more people would be retrenched.
P.P.P.S. - The SingaporeSeminars.com is undergoing some revamp so there will be no posting until the new site is up.
P.P.P.P.S. - I sincerely hope you will change your perspectives and change your life. Learn to be optimistic like me and enjoy life. Focus on the positives e.g. How to Make More Money rather than the debts you have to pay. Trust me, it works!

Regards,
Edmund Ng
CEO, President
http://www.blogger.com/www.Internet-Empire.com

Be Prepared

2009-02-01T02:51:00.000-08:00

Be Prepared

2 Days before Chinese New Year

What I like to share here is something which people may not expect it to happen, but it happened.

On 24 Jan 2009, 2 days before Chinese New Year, as I was driving to MacRitchie Reservoir for a jog, I received a phone call at my mobile. It was my mother (sitting at the centre in orange) on the other side of the line. She asked when am I and said she was lying on the floor at home. She also asked me to come home immediately. I told her I am coming home now and hanged up the phone.

Guessed what has happened ?

When I reached home, I saw my mum lying on the floor side way in her room. I started to ask her if she is alright. She just said she cannot move. I tried to help her to lie flat on the floor but she complaint pain and asked me not to move her. I told her to relax and called for ambulance immediately. The number to call is 995. Before the ambulance arrived, my mum said she wanted to drink water. I brought her a glass of water but she cannot drink. She then asked for a spoon to assist her in drinking but still cannot drink because she was lying side way. Finally, I got a straw for her to drink water. Then she asked she need to urine. I then brought her a container and helped her to sit up resting beside her bed and help her to pass urine.

After awhile, I heard the sound of the ambulance outside our main gate and went down to the ground floor to taken the paramedic to my mum. 3 paramedics came with their standard equipment. I assisted the paramedics to put my mum on the strecher for them to take her to hospital.

My mum was hospitalised for one night and she asked to go home before Chinese New Year. I spoke to the doctor on 25 Jan 09 and he allowed my mum to discharge. My mum need to go back to the hospital for a thorough check after Chinese New Year.

Finally.....

What I like to share here is nobody expect such thing to happen just before Chinese New Year. I knew my mum has history of back pain and leg pain but I do not expect the pain to hit her so suddenly until she cannot move.

Anything can happen any time. We just got to be prepared and act accordingly.

Hotel Mexico

2009-02-01T00:18:00.000-08:00

Hotel Mexico

Since I set up my blog last year on my sharing, I have received quite a number of e-mails from overseas "friends" whom I do not know or met.

Two of my "friends" are from Malaysia. They are interested in the qi gong (see photo attached) which I practice and published. Qi Gong is an exercise I practice once a week for 90 minutes. This exercise is originated from China. After about a year since I started, I never go on MC (absent from work due to sickness). What more worth mentioning is it is FOC. You just need to make your way to the practice location nearest to your home or work place. To date, I have not taken any MC for 3 years.

I also received an e-mail from Kathy. She is all the way from Mexico.

The URL to what she like to share is as shown below :

http://www.mexicovacationtravels.com/
Description : A travel information website for visitors interested in Mexico vacation destinations.

Take a look at their interesting web. Even if you do not get to go to Mexico, it is good to know more about their food, culture, etc. Who knows, you may be in Mexico one day. Enjoy.

No More Whining And Complaining

2009-01-20T14:29:00.000-08:00

My days of whining and complaining about others have come to an end. Nothing is easier than fault-finding. All it will do is discolor my personality so that none will want to associate with me. That was my old life. No more. -- Og Mandino

This to me is a very powerful saying. It is very easy to find or discover other people faults or mistakes. We often hear :

- you are slow

- why you delay ?

- why you do this ?

- this is not nice.

- etc

Not only young people will say this, even old people also the same. People always look outside rather than inside. That means to say people make comment about others rather than themselves. Even when you read something, it is easy to spot a mistake of others if there is one. What about those that were written correctly ? Who don't make mistakes.

So, the next time you say something negative, think again before you say. Is your days of whining and complaining about others come to an end ?

Make at least 3 People Happy Each Day

2009-01-15T07:57:00.000-08:00

Make At Least 3 People Happy Each Day

A very renown monk from Taiwan gave advise on 100 good things to do. One of the thing I remembered is to make at least 3 people happy each day.

Is it difficult to do that ? If you say difficult, it can be very difficult. You may ask yourself, why do I do that ? What benefit do I get in return ? Then it will be difficult. But if you just do it, then it will be very easy.

Look at the picture, I just did it. My wife is eating a bag of tapioca chips that weigh 5KG. We bought it from Malaysia for RM35. What I did was to take of photo of wife eating the tapioca chips while watch TV program. She was so happy posting and eating.

I also remembered got one time, my friend and I were driving in Malaysia. I think we were at Kota Bahru which is in Kelantan. Then I realised I need to top up my car fuel tank. So I stop by at a petrol koisk to top up. After a Malay girl fill up the tank, my friend pay her for the petrol and gave her RM1 as tips. She was so happy and keep thanking my friend. So money can also make people happy.

So, if you can do it, why not.

Stop Comparing, You Are You.

2009-01-04T14:33:00.000-08:00

STOP COMPARING, YOU ARE YOU.

If you’re not happy with who you are, you’ll spend precious energy trying to be somebody you’re not, and it will wear you out.

Think for a moment. Is there anybody in your life you’re comparing yourself to? A beautiful sister? An accomplished brother? A friend who never seems to have problems? Well, may I say with all the love in the world: Quit it. That business of comparing is going to make you sick and unproductive, if it hasn’t already.

You are you. -- Luci Swindoll

Motivation for Success

2009-01-02T17:17:00.001-08:00

Motivation for Success

Everyone will has his ups and downs in life. Here I like to share a few good saying. Hope you can gain some in-sight from it. A friend of mine once told me, someone who is successful, he/she must has something others may not have.

1. The successful person makes a habit of doing what the failing person doesn't like to do. Thomas Edison.

2. Don't limit yourself. Many people limit themselves to what they think they can do. You can go as far as your mind lets you. What you believe, remember, you can achieve. Mary Kay Ash.

3. If I am going to do something, I do it spectacularly or I don't do it at all. Prince Alwaleed Bin Talal Alsaud.

4. If you don't act now while it's fresh in your mind, it will probably join the list of things you were always going to do but never quite got around to. Chances are you'll also miss some opportunities. Paul Clitheroe.

New Year 2009

2009-01-02T07:33:00.001-08:00

New Year 2009

My new year began with a birthday celebration for my wife who was born on 2 Jan 19xx.

As I do not have a big house, I cannot invite too many friends to my apartment.

My wishes for the New Year is to have a bigger house and good health, of course.

I like to wish everyone has :

A RELAXED mind;
A PEACEFUL soul;
A JOYFUL spirit;
A HEALTHY body, &
A heart full of LOVE